peace

Recovering from Burnout

Wellness /

Reclaim Your Energy After a Tough Week Last week felt like walking through a storm with no umbrella, no shoes, no raincoat, with wind whipping around you and Florida’s signature sideways rain falling as if it was getting extra credit to fall. In a nutshell, it was a dumpster fire of a week. And listen, it wasn’t just one thing. No, no, no. Life had to go full drama. It was a combination of heartbreak, tough decisions, and some serious physical exhaustion. I had to say goodbye to a friend I just made in this new city (which still doesn’t feel like home), deal with the emotional pain of laying off nine people (yes, NINE), and on top of that, I got hit with some kind of bug that left me too weak to keep anything down. The week wasn’t just tough—it was a full-on dumpster fire. By the time it was over, I didn’t feel like myself. I felt drained, like my energy tank was running on fumes. I mean if there were gold medals for dumpster fire weeks, last week would have been a contender. It wasn’t bad enough to be tragic, but it was stressful and uncomfortable at every turn. Every time I thought I’d found my footing, something else knocked me right back down. By Friday, I was spent—exhausted, frustrated, and completely over it. But here’s the thing: somehow, I made it through. And if you’ve ever had a week that slapped you around like this one did me, this one’s for you. Because even when life decides to throw everything at you, there’s a way to rebuild, recharge, and come back stronger—without losing your mind in the process. Here’s how you do it. 1. Give Yourself Permission to Rest! Look, I know we’re all conditioned to push through everything like superheroes, but after a week like this, I knew I had earned a break, not that I need to earn one. Rest is not optional—it’s mandatory. Your body and your mind are practically begging for it. And don’t you dare feel guilty about it! I chose to roll back the amount of activities I engaged in throughout the week. On Friday, I signed off early cause I was managing a migraine and took a nap. And on Saturday, I took some cognitive rest. I went to test drive a car that I was interested in purchasing, went out for lunch with Rodney, and spent some time upgrading this site, all of which made me happy. How does this apply to you? Glad you asked. Tip: When life is throwing punches your way prioritize your rest. One way is to schedule a “do-nothing” day. Yep, I said it. Plan a day where you don’t answer emails, selectively answer your phone, don’t tackle chores, and don’t even think about tomorrow’s to-do list. Your job is to rest, recharge, and indulge in whatever brings you peace—whether that’s binge-watching your favorite shows or sipping a chai latte in total silence. 2. Feel All the Feels Last week, even though I was feeling like trash both physically and emotionally, I had to show up for my team. So even though I was feeling a lot of emotions, I was trying really hard to not to show them. But even though I tried hard not to show them with my team, the truth is, it’s totally okay to feel all the emotions: frustration, sadness, anger, whatever shows up. Trying to act like it’s all good when it’s not will just keep you stuck. Honor what you’re feeling, even if it’s not cute. I waited until the end of the day to let all my feelings out, but I did let them out. My sister and Rodney heard a lot of it, and they were great about holding space for me. Tip: When life has you on an emotional roller coaster, take a moment to check in with yourself. If you’re a writer, grab a journal and spill it all. Or if writing feels too formal, hit record on your phone and just talk it out. Let those emotions have their say—because once they’re out, you’ll feel a little lighter and a lot more clear. 3. Reconnect with Your Happy Place When life feels like it’s taken everything out of you, it’s time to reconnect with what makes you you. Your happy place might be the beach (yep, that’s me), a good book, or even just sitting in total silence for five minutes. The point is, find what grounds you and lean into it. This week was kind of cold here and I was feeling like trash so even though I didn’t go to my happy place, I played a lot with my plants and made space for them in my office. I also may or may not have engaged in some retail therapy with accoutrements for my plants but that’s another story for another day. Tip: Take some time when you’re feeling off kilter to do something that brings you back to center. For me, it’s sitting by the ocean, chai latte in hand, just letting the sound of the waves calm my spirit. Maybe for you, it’s putting on that 90s R&B playlist and dancing in the living room, or calling your bestie for a vent session. Whatever it is, make time for it—it’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. 4. Focus on What You Can Control Not everything is under your control, and that’s okay. What is in your control is how you take care of yourself and how you respond moving forward. You don’t have to fix everything at once. Start small, and watch how those little wins start to rebuild your energy. There was not a whole lot that I could control last week, but I focused on what I could. I appealed to hiring managers I know to try to help the folks who were getting laid off get some leads, I worked on my

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From Worry to Wonder

2 Comments / joy, mindset /

Simple Habits for an Abundance Mindset Have you ever felt stuck in that scarcity loop, where all you can think about is what you don’t have? You know what I am talking about. For me it hits after doom scrolling and wistfully and voyeuristically taking in what other people are doing on the interwebs. And you know that I know that they are only showing a snapshot but I still find myself wondering what I am doing wrong. You’re not alone. Our minds can be our biggest obstacle, constantly pointing out what’s missing instead of celebrating what we already have. But there’s another way to think that frees you from the prison of doom—the abundance mindset. It works. I tried it and it made all the difference. And lately life has been giving me many opportunities to practice. It’s all about appreciating the small things. The first sip of my ginger lemon tea in the morning, the feel of the sun on my skin as I water the plants, or being able to lounge in bed on Saturday mornings. Those simple joys make my whole day brighter. That’s the power of an abundance mindset. It’s more than positive thinking; it’s a lifestyle change that has transformed my entire world. Imagine moving through life knowing that there’s enough for everyone, including you. That’s what an abundance mindset is all about. It’s not just about money or material things—it’s about how you view the world and your place in it. When you adopt an abundance mindset, it changes the way you see opportunities, set goals, and handle challenges. Abundance vs. Scarcity: What’s the Difference? An abundance mindset says, “There’s always more where that came from,” while a scarcity mindset whispers, “There’s never enough.” People who embrace abundance see endless possibilities and know that success isn’t a pie where someone else’s slice makes theirs smaller. They celebrate others and believe that there’s room for everyone to win. But if you’re in that scarcity mindset? Whew, it can make you feel like you’re constantly in competition or that you’re going to run out of what you need. That kind of thinking leads to decisions made out of fear—whether it’s in relationships, your career, or even with yourself. Sometimes our scarcity mindset are leftovers from traumatic experiences, so don’t beat up on yourself. Decide what you can commit to changing and let’s make it happen. Why Cultivate an Abundance Mindset? When you embrace an abundance mindset, it doesn’t just change your thoughts—it transforms your life. Here are some of the benefits: Daily Habits to Build Your Abundance Mindset Of course you can’t just flip a switch to go from scarcity to abundance—it takes time and small, daily changes. But do not fret, I’ve got you covered. Here are some practical habits to get you started. 1. Gratitude Journaling Start your day by writing down three things you’re grateful for. It could be something as simple as the warmth of your morning sun or a kind word from a loved one. This habit is like training your brain to notice abundance, and over time, you’ll start to see more of it. As I have share before I am not a journaler but I know that it can be a really valuable tool. I prefer to wake up joyfully. I focus the first few moments of my day on things I am grateful for. I say my prayers when I wake up and say thank you for another wake up. I say good morning to Rodney and then I start humming a song that makes me happy. By the time it’s time to water the plants I start naming the things I am grateful for and if its sunny I spend a few minutes letting it warm my skin. That makes for a morning that sets me up for success and starts my day with joy. 2. Setting and Achieving Goals Goals are your road map to an abundant life. But don’t just set any goals—set ones that align with what really matters to you. So many of us are recovering people pleasers. It is important to take a moment to make sure that the goals we set are aligned to our purpose. When you have the aligned goals, break them down into smaller steps and tasks. Every time you complete one of the steps, celebrate because this creates momentum and reminds you that your goals are within reach. I am lucky to have Carol in my orbit who does the breaking down of the tasks for me because my brain is always thinking about multiple things at a time. If your brain is like mine there are all kinds of apps and software that can help you. The point of breaking it down is to make it achievable so that it goes from being a dream to being a goal. 3. Keep Learning Learning something new keeps your mind open and engaged with the world. Whether it’s reading a book, watching a documentary, or picking up a new hobby, continuous learning shows you that there’s always more to explore. Not to mention that it is good for your brain. Lately I have been learning a lot about gardening. I have killed some, but I have grown more than I killed. I am not trying to become a master gardener, I am just trying to learn more about nurturing and caring for plants that make my space more beautiful. I am also learning a ton about launching a new business, and building a brand. The joy for me is in the learning and I have noticed that keeping my focus on learning has changed the way that I approach challenges. I come in curious as opposed to judgmental and that is a huge shift for me. 4. Surround Yourself with Positive People We become like the people we spend time with, so make sure you’re around people who uplift and inspire you. Positive vibes are contagious,

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The Clap Back

authenticity, boundaries, Wellness /

Why It’s Often Not Worth It This weekend after weeks of work related stress I finally took a moment to get to the beach which is where I fully relax. I had a great day, my shoulders dropped from around my ears and I was feeling good. When I tell you as soon as I came home I had a hurtful encounter that completely pissed me off, please believe me. All I wanted to do in that moment was clap back. It is only the fact that I know better that kept me from unleashing on the person with the full force of my tongue. So today, I want to focus on that moment when someone hurts you, and all you want to do is unleash your inner clap-back queen. Maybe it was a shady comment, a backhanded compliment, or just straight-up disrespect. Either way, you’re sitting there, heart racing, and the perfect withering comeback is sitting on the tip of your tongue, just begging to be let loose. But then, something in you knows…this isn’t going to help. And with a little disappointment at the momentary glee you would feel from being reckless, you rein your tongue in. Whew!!!!! Being the best version of yourself is not easy. But it’s definitely worth it. Don’t get me wrong. If anyone gets it, I do. When someone comes for you, the natural reaction is to defend yourself, right? I don’t know about you but I have the keen desire to show them that there is one, but I am not the one. But here’s the thing: clapping back might feel good in the moment, but for me it usually leads to regret later on. I replay it in my head and feel badly that what I said or did, is not at all aligned with my goal of being the best version of myself, and more than likely caused harm. Cause there is nothing nice about me when I am in clap back mode. The aftermath is just not worth it. Three things I hate about the aftermath of the clapback: So, what’s the alternative? How do you handle being hurt without letting the clap back energy rule? Here are a few strategies that help me. Please note none of this is easy in the moment, but it helps. When The Clap Back Energy Tries to Come to the Front: The first step is to pause. Yes I said pause. When someone hurts you, that immediate surge of emotion can cloud your judgment. But before you react with the clap back that lays them out in their permanent resting place – take a breath. Give yourself a moment to process what just happened. This isn’t about ignoring your feelings—it’s about giving yourself time to fully understand them so that you can respond thoughtfully. Tip: Count to ten before you say anything or take nine deep slow breaths (which is about 3 mins). You’d be surprised how much clarity comes in those ten seconds or three minutes depending on which you choose. Not every battle is worth fighting. Sometimes, people come at you leaking their own issues and baggage, and it has nothing to do with you. Ask yourself if clapping back will make the situation better or just escalate it. Example: If someone makes a snarky comment at work, think about whether it’s worth engaging. Will it change the situation? Or will it just create more tension? Key Question: Will this matter to me tomorrow, next week, or next year? If the answer is no, it’s probably best to let it go. There’s a difference between reacting out of hurt and responding from a place of strength. When you react, it’s impulsive. But when you respond, you’re in control. It takes a lot of discipline to stay in control. Responding can be silence or a mindful response, but the key is to respond in a way that is true to your highest version of yourself. Tip: If you need to address the situation, try something like, “I didn’t appreciate what you said, and here’s why.” Explain your why, if you choose to, and be clear about what you would prefer in the future. I find that we would rather display anger than admit hurt, but I am trying to be more honest about communicating when I am hurt. That means I now literally tell people when they are being hurtful if I want to maintain a relationship with them. Responding instead of reacting shows you’re not about to let anyone walk over you, but you’re executing the enforcement of your boundaries with grace so that you can be proud of yourself. This is really for you, not the other person. If the emotions are bubbling up and you really want to clap back, find a healthier way to release that energy. My go to’s are calling a friend, or hitting my punching bag. What ever you choose to do, choose something that lets you get the negative emotions out of your system in a way that doesn’t leave you with regret later. Example: I once had a situation where someone said something wild to me at work. I was ready to fire back, and I would have skewered them and I knew it. I chose not to respond. I called my sister fuming and she let me vent. By the end of the conversation, I felt better, I still had my pride and the means by which to pay my bills. That person however was never allowed inside of my safe space again. Clapping back would’ve done more harm than good for me in that moment. And setting boundaries was so much more productive. Tip: Can’t make a quick call? Go sit in your car and record a 5-minute voice memo rant on your phone, then delete it. Trust me, it works wonders for getting the frustration out without causing damage. Sometimes, the best response is no response at all.

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Real Connections, Real Joy

4 Comments / authenticity, Wellness /

How to Cultivate Deeper, More Meaningful Relationships Alright, let’s get real for a minute. You’ve got the career, the degrees, the accomplishments, the home. You’ve checked off all the boxes, and from the outside, life is looking good. But when it comes to the people in your life, the connections that should bring you joy? They’re just not hitting the way they should. That was me a few years ago. To be honest, I am an introvert so when my relationships feel off kilter that is a big deal. We all know that real joy comes from real connections—those deep, meaningful relationships that lift you up, not the surface-level ones that just take up space and make you take a deep breath before engaging with the person. You know that you know what I mean. But here’s the thing I had to learn; meaningful connections don’t just happen because you’ve known someone for a long time or because you see them regularly. They happen when you’re intentional, when you let yourself be seen, and when you focus on the people who really matter. I don’t know about you but for me that was a game changer. I had assumed that people pay attention to my needs in the way that I pay attention to theirs. Boy was I wrong. For the most part people are busy with their lives and they aren’t thinking about what you need, you have to tell them. When I changed my approach my relationships improved and I cannot lie, I was shocked that such a simple thing was the game changer. I have a friend that likes to tell me closed mouths don’t get fed. To be honest, I hate the phrase but in this case, it’s the truth. Anyway let’s talk about how I learned to build those kinds of relationships—the ones that leave you feeling filled up instead of drained – and maybe it can help you too. 1. Be Intentional About Your Relationships Listen, life gets busy. We’ve all been guilty of going through the motions, keeping up with relationships out of habit or obligation. But if you want to feel that real joy, you have to put some thought into who you’re spending your time with. Are you hanging out with people because it’s convenient, or because they truly add something to your life? This was a big one for me, because I am the type of person whose emotions are impacted by the company I keep. So I can’t be around folks who drain my energy. I knew that, but I didn’t pay attention to the fact that I was spending time with people who were taking value, but not adding any. If that’s you here is what worked for me. What can you do?Take a step back and ask yourself: Who am I really connected to? Who makes me feel seen and heard? And who am I just keeping around because it’s comfortable? This is your life, —there’s no room for draining relationships. The people you spend time with should bring you energy, not just take it. I have big sister energy so I am always trying to help and nurture, but I realized I didn’t have balance. I needed people who would do the same for me. Action Step:Here is something you can do: Choose one or two people who you feel a true connection with and schedule time to catch up in a way that feels authentic to the relationship and you. Whether it’s a phone call, a coffee date, or just sitting on the couch choose a medium where you can be fully present with them and focus on building that relationship. Think about it this way, when was the last time you were truly listened to, or truly listened to someone without interrupting with a story of your own or with questions that piqued your curiosity. Try offering a deep listening experience to someone you value and watch what happens. 2. Create Space for Vulnerability Now, I get it—vulnerability isn’t always easy. Especially when you’ve been in control of your life for so long, letting someone see the “real you” can feel uncomfortable. But here’s the thing: real connections require you to show up as your full self. That’s the only way people can truly know you, and that’s where the joy comes from. Ma’am/Sir, this one was hard for me. Like I said, I have big sister energy, so I am not used to being the one who gets the help. But I had to learn to speak up and say what I needed, and wanted. I thought it would be so hard, but honestly because I was doing it with people who really cared, it was not hard at all. I just had to be brave and say it. So I did, I told people when I didn’t want them to be judgy, I told people when I wanted them to listen, I told people when things didn’t sit well for me. And it worked! I got what I needed from the people who cared. What can you do?Start small. You don’t have to spill your whole life story in one sitting, but try sharing a little bit more of what’s going on with you or about what you need the next time you talk to someone you trust. Tell them what’s really on your mind, whether it’s something that’s been bothering you or a dream you’ve been holding onto. Let them in a little more than you usually do. I did this with my younger sister and she was so supportive that I felt silly not doing it for so long. I was used to being there for her, but given the chance, she was there for me and it felt so good. Action Step:The next time you have a conversation with someone you trust, try sharing a small thing about yourself that you’ve been holding on to. It doesn’t have

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Who Do You Say You Are?

4 Comments / authenticity, joy, Wellness /

Sometimes you can find yourself running on autopilot, only to realize you’re living out a script that feels a few sizes too small. I didn’t necessarily realize when this was happening to me. I just knew that I wasn’t happy. I was irritable and crabby and it felt like I was living someone else’s life. Truthfully I was mad at everyone else when the problem was really me. I was changing and the activities I was used to and the things that had traditionally soothed me were no longer working. In short I had outgrown my life, but I was clinging to that too tight uncomfortable life with a vise grip. I am not alone, it’s a common thing. Let me explain. Sometimes, we cling to old roles that don’t reflect who we are currently and we look around and think that the problem is everything and everyone but the person we see in the mirror. To change my too tight uncomfortable life, I did a drastic thing. I packed up and moved to a new state to start over alone. To be clear, you don’t have to be that drastic. You could start by updating our self-perceptions and truly embracing your most authentic self. It’s less expensive, but not necessarily easier. Update Your Identity Narrative To do this we have to agree on a truth and that is: our identities are not set in stone—they morph and grow just as we do physically. But often, we hang onto past versions of ourselves like we hold on to those clothes that no longer fit or are worn out because it’s familiar. I’m not judging you, I get it. I am inviting you to update your identity so that you can align your perception of yourself with who you actually are now, not who you were in the past. For me, the part of my identity I had been clinging to was not positive (shocker). I was operating from a place of fear and letting it limit me. Here’s how my therapist led me through the transformative process: Practical Strategies for Embracing Your Current Identity So like we talked about, shedding outdated aspects of your identity and embracing the current version of yourself requires intentional action. And you know I won’t leave you hanging. Here are some practical strategies to help you if you decide to make this shift: Navigating Relationships with People Stuck in the Past It’s one thing to update your own view of yourself, but another to deal with people who only see the outdated version of you. Now I am channeling all the good in me to write this part because these folks can be hella annoying and my first inclination is to shut down and stop engaging. But thankfully a part of my evolution has included being more gracious. So these strategies I am sharing below are ones that have worked for the new version of me. Here’s my advice on how to handle those who might not yet recognize the person you’ve become. Please feel free to choose what you like and leave the rest. Wrap-Up Ok, so we are at the end of another post inspired by my chats with my therapist. Who do you say you are? This was a powerful question ior me because it forced me to reflect on what was old, what was current, and how I was using outdated narratives and evidence to define myself. So here is my invitation to you – join me on this journey to shed old layers and celebrate the person you’ve become. Think of it as honoring your current self and making space for continued growth and new possibilities. Talk back to me. What aspects of your identity have changed recently? Share your experiences with me, or someone you love. Your story could be the spark that someone else needs. Let’s support each other in embracing our true, updated selves. I can honestly say that this work has helped me discover true joy and look forward to who I am becoming!

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Creating a Calm Home

3 Comments / joy, Wellness /

Ever find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind of daily demands, leaving your mind and space a tangled mess? No judgement here because you’re definitely not alone. When I am stressed or busy it definitely shows in my space. For starters my morning routine of making the bed before I start working is usually the first to go. The tell tale sign of multiple pairs of shoes at the front door is another way that you can tell when I am overwhelmed. I don’t mind sharing my messy truth because I know that our surroundings shape our mental state. I also know that creating a serene environment is key to maintaining my well-being. So let’s explore some practical ways to infuse tranquility into your life. I am talking about mindful decluttering, incorporating nature, and interacting with people in a way that maintains your serenity. Here are some simple yet effective strategies that I have found that to make your home a haven of peace, even amidst the chaos. Understanding Chaos and Its Impact on Well-Being Chaos can mean a lot, from the unpredictability of life’s events to the internal turmoil we experience. It disrupts our plans, throws us off balance, and challenges our peace of mind. Recognizing the dance of chaos helps us navigate it gracefully, keeping our mental health resilient. I shared with you that we moved in March to accommodate my partner’s work, all while I was dealing with a concussion. So here we were, in a new city, me barely functioning (because of course I was managing what I later learned were migraines, and light and sound sensitivity) while trying to set up a new home and him working on site everyday. Talk about stress. I was completely off-balance, every plan was disrupted, and I was constantly in search of peace that didn’t involve screens, light or sound. Fun times. It was hard on me and hard on my relationship. What I found was that focusing on my own well-being helped me to show up as the best version of my self, which then created calmer interactions in the relationship even though everything around us was constantly evolving and changing. But that’s another story for another day. Creating a Serene Environment at Home Transforming your home into a tranquil sanctuary isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about crafting a space where peace isn’t just possible, but a constant presence. The good news for us, is that we were able to do a lot of our decluttering before we moved. But decluttering is definitely necessary to creating calm. So here are some tips I have used and continue to use. Decluttering Your Space We know that a cluttered space can lead to increased stress and anxiety. I don’t know about you but when I am not in a good space and my home is also a wreck, it drives me crazy. Not to mention, my partner is a neat person so he definitely is not about that clutter life. Here’s how we tackle it. Incorporating Nature Bringing the outdoors inside isn’t just beautiful; it’s beneficial. So I have to admit, before my encounter with the sidewalk, I was not a plant person. I was convinced that I could not take care of them. But something about being in this new space where I have morning sunlight and a balcony I never use, screamed plants. So I jumped in with both feet. Choosing Calming Colors and Decor Colors deeply affect our emotions. Opt for shades that bring you calm to enhance the tranquility of your space. Now when you research this you will find conventional wisdom, but remember its your space, so think about what brings you peace. I am a beach girl. There is nothing I love more than a day lounging at the beach or floating in the pool. I also like a space that feels warm and comforting like my dear departed grandma’s hug. So I have a large cozy couch in a bold color and reminds me of sunshine, a material that feels like a cozy sweater. I balance it with pillows and a rug which are more neutral. The Impact of Interactions on Serenity Now that we have talked about designing the physical space, there is something to be said about maintaining peace in your space. The way we interact with people in our space definitely affects its serenity. Positive interactions enhance the calmness of a room, while negative ones can disrupt it. The goal is to enhance the calmness, so create some rules for your space. Practical Tips for Peaceful Interactions: Conclusion Creating a serene environment amidst chaos is not only possible but essential. Take one step towards investing in your tranquility. Will it be decluttering a space or enjoying a moment of quiet? Share your journey towards a calmer home and inspire others to do the same. Let’s nurture our spaces to reflect the peace we seek within. Here’s to creating homes that are not just living spaces but sanctuaries of calm and joy! What steps will you take to bring more peace into your home? Share your thoughts and let’s support each other in this journey. If you enjoyed this post please like and/or comment. If you think it would be good reading for someone else, please do share. I would be overjoyed if you subscribe and follow me on Instagram. Ever find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind of daily demands, leaving your mind and space a tangled mess? No judgement here because you’re definitely not alone. When I am stressed or busy it definitely shows in my space. For starters my morning routine of making the bed before I start working is usually the first to go. The tell tale sign of multiple pairs of shoes at the front door is another way that you can tell when I am overwhelmed. I don’t mind sharing my messy truth because I know that our surroundings shape our mental state.

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