Starting Again

“What are you going to Florida for? To die?” That was the reaction of one of my sassy friends when I broke the news that I was moving from the Garden State to the Sunshine State. Don’t judge her. I’m sure I sounded fiftyleven shades of crazy when without warning or any major planning I decided I was moving to Florida. She wasn’t the only one that thought I was crazy or let me know. I just knew in my soul that it was where I needed to be. So I did it.

Clearly, I didn’t die. And to be honest it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Despite our state leaders’ stance on books, slavery, LGBTQIA people – well anything that makes sense if we’re being honest – Florida has been the healing space that I needed. But ma’am/sir that does not mean that starting again did not take a lot of prayer, courage and resilience.

Any time you set a big audacious goal and start moving towards it, you will have people in your life who will think you are crazy. Some will vocalize it – usually unsolicited, some will not. But every one will have an opinion. All those opinions, coupled with any uncertainty, can make starting again a daunting experience. But here’s the thing, starting again is the only way to fill that hole in the pit of your soul that gnaws tiny holes in your peace. Even though the holes start small, eventually they grow into a chasm of restlessness and dissatisfaction.

Of course you have a choice. You can ignore the holes. But the gnawing doesn’t stop and eventually it creates so much discomfort that you find yourself waking up pissed off at people just for breathing. Not talking. Not in anyway harming you. Just breathing. Maybe that was just me.

The other choice is to honor your soul, and release it from the prison of expectations – yours and everyone else’s. I won’t pretend that it is without its challenges, but starting again has always been more rewarding than I anticipated. Yes, I have done it several times. Although packing my car and moving to Florida with nothing but my clothes, shoes – gotta have the shoes, important papers and a TV was probably one of the more drastic ways I have started again, here’s what I have gotten so far out of the deal.

I conquered my fear of water, and I am now a swimmer.

I found the emotional space to try trusting again, and found my forever valentine.

I learned how to rest and became rejuvenated, and found my authentic voice. Now I am a writer again. Book coming soon.

I found the courage to attempt to make a lifelong dream come true and launched a company with my forever valentine, The Pleiniche Group. The goal of our company is to offer BIPOC people the support, guidance, encouragement, and necessary cheat codes to live authentic and joyful lives. My part of that mission – help BIPOC women to shed the baggage of persistent and malignant marginalization, manifesting in their lives as disillusionment from a life spent trying to meet other people’s expectations.

My audacious goal is to help 1,000,000 BIPOC women before we retire. I don’t have much time.

Yes it is a big scary goal, but it’s what my soul is crying out for. Heck yeah I’m intimidated, a large part of me is like “Ma’am you know you can just ride this job out until retirement, right?” Here’s the thing, I know from experience that the big scary goal is where the joy resides.

Chocolate Serenity has been a dream of mine for decades. So I am starting again, investing my time and energy to support BIPOC women to push past their own doubts, the committee in their heads, and other people’s fears, as they find the courage to start again.

I was in a room where the challenge of ‘take the next big scary step’ was thrown out. This is my big scary step for today, my starting again – saying it out loud. If you want to help me:

• refer me,
• follow me on Insta, or LinkedIn,
• work with me,
• invite me to speak to your groups,
• sponsor a woman to work with me,
• support a first-gen college student to start off with the tools for authentic living,
• send me a note of encouragement,
• subscribe to this blog and share it with a friend.

Here is the question for this week, what is the big scary step that you are taking towards your audacious goal? Drop me a comment, let’s take our big scary steps together.