Wellness

How Self-Sovereignty Transforms Lives You ever buy a pair of shoes that cost way too much, but they’re so cute you just have to wear them… even though they pinch your toes like it’s their life mission? You can’t justify letting them sit in the closet, but every step feels like a tiny betrayal. Mine were some beige Saint Laurent’s. Yeah, that was Isabella’s life—on the outside, flawless and fabulous, but underneath? Ouch!!!!!!!!! That my friends is why I coach. Because I’ve personally met too many women like Isabella—Black and Latinx women hustling in their metaphorical stilettos, smiling through the squeeze, convincing the world (and sometimes themselves) that they’re “just fine.” But hello “just fine” is so not the vibe. Believe me I know. My vibe is about helping women rip off those painful shoes, fling them across the room like a star pitcher, and feel the freedom of dancing barefoot in the raw, beautiful truth of who they are—no filters, no apologies. I’m about to share a fictional client with you to make it real. Meet Isabella (A Fictional Case, But Her Story? All Too Real) When Isabella first came to me, she was like a can of soda that’s been shaken but hasn’t popped yet. She was glossy on the outside, but you could feel the pressure emanating from her and building like a volcano under the surface. She had the successful career, the curated Instagram aesthetic, the friend group with matching brunch photos. But underneath all that sparkle? A hollowness that echoed louder than an empty cavern. Self-Awareness:We started at square one. We kicked things off with what might seem like a simple question: “How do you really feel?” But that question hit her like me taking a sip of coffee, expecting tea—hello – jarring and confusing. She blinked, fumbled, then mumbled, “I don’t know. I haven’t asked myself that in years.” Boom. That’s where the magic started. Together we peeled back layers like old wallpaper, uncovering patterns she’d been too busy to notice. She realized she wasn’t living her life—she was starring in a script written by other people’s expectations. Self-Acceptance:Here’s where it gets real. Recognizing the problem is one thing. Accepting it? Whole different game. Imagine standing in front of a mirror, not to fix your hair, but to really see yourself. Every scar, stretch mark, and dream you shoved on the top shelf. Isabella had to sit with the uncomfortable truth that her “perfect life” didn’t fit anymore. But acceptance isn’t about settling; it’s about owning your whole self, unfiltered and unbothered. Self-Compassion:Next up, learning to be kind to yourself. Sis was an expert in self-critique but a complete newbie at self-kindness. She could hype up her friends like a pro, but when it came to herself? Crickets. We had to flip that script. Every time the inner critic got loud, we practiced swapping “I’m a failure” with “I’m figuring it out.” It was like switching from that harsh fluorescent lighting to a warm, cozy glow. Self-Love:This is where things got juicy. Self-love isn’t just bubble baths and scented candles (though, yes, please). It’s making choices that honor your worth. Isabella stopped RSVP’ing to every event out of guilt and started dating herself—solo brunches, unapologetic naps, saying “no” without a paragraph of excuses. She went from people-pleasing to soul-feeding. Self-Trust:Trusting herself felt like learning to ride a bike again—wobbly, with a few emotional scraped knees. But she realized she didn’t need to take a poll before making decisions. Her gut had been whispering the truth all along; she just needed to listen. Self-Validation:The day Isabella stopped waiting for applause from people who wouldn’t even notice if she left the room? A whole vibe. She started celebrating her wins because she knew they mattered—no gold stars required. Self-Advocacy:Imagine the quietest person in the meeting suddenly dropping facts with the confidence of someone who knows her voice deserves to be heard. Isabella set boundaries like a boss, said “No, thanks” without the follow-up TED Talk, and made sure her needs weren’t just an afterthought. Self-Sovereignty:By the time we wrapped up, Isabella wasn’t just existing; she was thriving. She wasn’t waiting for permission to be herself—she was the permission slip. She wrote her story in bold ink, no erasers needed. The Takeaway This continuum—from Self-Awareness to Self-Sovereignty—isn’t some checklist. It’s a revolution. I coach because I know what it feels like to live a life that checks all the boxes but still feels empty. My mission is to help women peel back those layers of “shoulds” and “supposed to’s” and reconnect with the version of themselves that’s been waiting to breathe freely. Each step builds on the last, turning “just fine” into phenomenal. So, if you’re sitting there thinking, “Dang, this sounds familiar,” let me tell you this: You deserve more than a life that looks good for the ‘Gram. You deserve one that feels good in your soul. Ready to kick off those metaphorical stilettos? Let’s take the first step together. Book your complimentary discovery call with me today, and let’s chat about how you can start living boldly, authentically, and unapologetically YOU. You know that feeling when you’re wearing a pair of shoes that look fabulous but pinch your toes with every step? That was Isabella’s life—on the outside, polished to perfection, but underneath, aching for relief. I coach because I’ve met too many women like Isabella—women who are walking through life in metaphorical stilettos, smiling through the squeeze, convincing the world (and sometimes themselves) that they’re just fine. But “just fine” isn’t enough. I coach to help women kick off those painful shoes and dance barefoot in the truth of who they really are. Let me make this live for you. Meet Isabella (A Fictional Case, But Her Story? All Too Real) When Isabella came to me, she was like a tightly sealed jar—glossy on the outside but under so much pressure you could practically hear the lid straining. Successful career, a curated

Picture this: You’re standing in front of a crossroads. On one path, you keep walking the familiar road—putting others first, living by someone else’s rules, saying yes when every fiber of your being screams no. On the other path, you reclaim your crown, dust off your throne, and step into a life where you call the shots. It’s not an easy choice. The first path is comfortable, predictable, even expected. But the second? That’s the road of self-sovereignty. It’s the love story you write with yourself—one bold, messy, glorious chapter at a time. I have found myself at this crossroads on more than one occasion and neither choice is easy but one is definitely worth it. What Self-Sovereignty Feels Like And to be clear, self-sovereignty isn’t just about boundaries or saying no. It’s about walking into a room with your head held high, knowing you don’t need anyone’s approval to be there, even though fear tries to whisper something different to you. It’s the quiet confidence of deciding what success looks like for you despite the many plans that other people may have for you. For you success may look like running a Fortune 500 company. For me it looks like living life on my own terms. For someone else it may mean mastering the art of saying “I’m unavailable” on a Saturday morning. That’s the beauty of self-sovereignty, it is defined solely by you. It feels different for everyone and it is no one size-fits-all experience. But as hard as it can be, it is life-changing and completely refreshing. The Myth of the Selfless Queen We’ve all been sold a myth: that to be good, worthy, or lovable, we have to give until there’s nothing left. Black and Latina women especially have been taught to put everyone else first—to be the selfless queen who rules by sacrifice. But let’s paint the picture of a queen with nothing left to give. Her crown is crooked, weighed down by the expectations of others. Her once-strong hands, used to building and nurturing, now tremble with exhaustion. Her throne? It’s covered in dust because she hasn’t sat down in months—always standing, always moving, always giving. Her kingdom thrives on the surface, but beneath it, her well is dry. Her smile—once radiant—is now a polite mask, hiding the hollowness she feels inside. She walks her halls, fulfilling every request, every demand, but inside, she wonders, When will someone pour back into me? A queen with nothing left to give is no queen at all. Self-sovereignty is about rejecting that myth and embracing the fact that taking care of yourself isn’t just okay—it’s necessary. A thriving queen knows that her power comes from within, and when her well is full, her kingdom flourishes. Renouncing Demands, Embracing True Power Self-sovereignty is the moment a queen pauses in the chaos, places her hands firmly on the arms of her throne, and declares, No more. No more bending until she breaks. No more silencing her voice to keep the peace. No more carrying a torch so heavy and battered that it leaves her hands blistered, while the light barely flickers enough to guide her own steps. It’s a renunciation—a bold act of rebellion against the never-ending demands that threaten to consume her. When a queen chooses self-sovereignty, she lets go of that burdensome torch and instead builds a fire—a steady, radiant blaze that warms her, lights her way, and extends its glow to everyone around her. She stands tall, shoulders squared, and lifts her chin as if feeling the weight of her crown for the first time in years. She doesn’t wait for permission, doesn’t seek the validation of the crowd. Instead, she closes her eyes, breathes deeply, and summons her power from the only place it truly exists: within herself. Like a river breaking free from its dam, her strength flows uncontained, steady and unstoppable, nourishing everything it touches. A queen rooted in self-sovereignty doesn’t just live; she reigns, and her reign strengthens her kingdom. Her choices become declarations of her worth, creating a ripple effect that benefits her entire ecosystem: True power isn’t about control—it’s about freedom and sustainability. The freedom to live fully, to love deeply, and to lead boldly. A sovereign queen understands that when she flourishes, so does her kingdom. Her well-being becomes the cornerstone of a thriving community, a flourishing family, and a harmonious life. To embrace self-sovereignty is to embrace the audacious belief that you are enough—not because of what you do, but because of who you are. It’s a revolution wrapped in grace, where you trade endless sacrifice for a life of balance, purpose, and joy—a life that elevates not just you but everyone connected to you.in grace, where you trade endless sacrifice for a life of balance, purpose, and joy. A New Way to Think About Power When a queen’s well-being becomes the cornerstone of a thriving community, her power takes on an entirely new meaning. It’s no longer about what she can endure or control—it’s about what she can create, inspire, and sustain. Self-sovereignty invites us to redefine power, not as dominance, but as a force that uplifts and nourishes everything and everyone it touches. True power isn’t measured by how much you can carry for others—it’s measured by how much you can pour into yourself so that what overflows enriches the lives of those around you. Self-sovereignty teaches us that power isn’t about standing alone on a pedestal—it’s about standing strong at the center of a community that thrives because you’re whole. When you embrace self-sovereignty, your power becomes a resource, not a weapon: Imagine this: A queen who, instead of hoarding her power, uses it to light up the entire kingdom. Her strength fortifies not just her own castle walls but the homes of everyone she loves. Her choices become a beacon, reminding others that it’s okay—necessary, even—to choose themselves, too. True power doesn’t drain; it replenishes. It doesn’t isolate; it connects. It doesn’t demand

For years, I walked into predominantly white spaces where every part of me felt like it came with a “handle with care” warning label. I spoke a little softer, dressed a little “safer,” and kept parts of myself on mute—like I was some kind of corporate spy trying not to blow my cover. And don’t even get me started on how hard it was to honor my culture, which values community and respect for elders, in spaces that seem to scream, “It’s every person for themselves!” After a day of tiptoeing through that emotional minefield, I’d go home and try to scrape together enough joy to show up for my family. Some days, I nailed it. Other days? Let’s just say the couch saw more of me than it deserved. When Dr. Antoinette Candia Bailey tragically ended her own life this year, after years of writing about the hardships that Black women face in academia, it rocked me to my core. I have the same 9-5 she had and I felt that pain acutely. I had to do something, so I did what I do best, I wrote. I wrote about mental fitness. I wrote about the need for inner peace. I wrote about reclaiming joy. The result has been many blog posts and then the idea for Sacred Serenity was born. I wrote Sacred Serenity because I know for a fact I’m not the only one who’s been on this rollercoaster. I know because I see it my friends, co-workers, and community. Black and Latina/Hispanic women are consistently and specifically socialized to pour into everyone else—our families, our communities, our workplaces—until there’s nothing left. Rarely, if ever, are we told to pour into ourselves. And even when we try, guilt bursts into the room like a storm trooper telling us, “You could be doing more.” Am I wrong? This book is your permission slip to stop, breathe, and take care of YOU. Inside, you’ll find: Listen, Sacred Serenity isn’t just a book—it’s a vibe, a toolkit, and a long-overdue reminder that you are worthy of rest and joy. It’s the peace you’ve been craving, wrapped in pages that I hope feels like a warm hug from someone who gets it. And because self-love is contagious, don’t stop at just one copy. Gift one to your homegirl, your coworker, or even that friend who’s always doing the absolute most. I am not being dramatic when I say self-love could save someone’s life. It saved mine. And to be clear, this book boldly and unapologetically features the beauty and resilience of Black and Latina women. But don’t get tricked, its mental fitness gems and reminders to slow down are for anyone who could use a daily dose of love on yourself a little bit more. Sacred Serenity drops December 11. Trust me, this is the gift to yourself—and someone else—that keeps on giving. Let’s reclaim our peace and our power, one mental fitness step at a time. The book costs $19.99 and will be available on Amazon. This book is obviously not priced to create wealth, it is designed to create a necessary shift in the lives of Black and Brown women. Please support my mission to impact the lives of one million women and grab a copy.

Here’s a truth bomb for you: waiting for other people to validate your greatness is like waiting for weak Wi-Fi to connect during a Zoom call—you’ll be sitting there forever, frustrated, and buffering. Please stop. It’s time to quit refreshing the page and start walking in your brilliance. Breaking news: Your brilliance doesn’t need a stamp of approval to exist. You’ve got the sauce, the sparkle, and the stamina to shine, just as you are. When you stop waiting for validation, you’re not just freeing yourself—you’re rewriting the rules for everyone watching. But if I am being honest—stepping into your light isn’t always easy, especially when you’ve been conditioned to look outward for approval. The good news? You already have everything you need to validate yourself. And you know me, I’m not going to tell you to do something without telling you how. So here are five practical ways to stop waiting and start shining: 1. Understand Your Shine is Enough Let’s agree to this, you do NOT need anyone to nod in approval for you to glow. What are you an iPhone update that requires confirmation to proceed? Nope! Think about Beyoncé—do you think she pauses her day waiting for someone to tell her she’s amazing? Probably not. She probably has to pump herself up every day before she even picks up her phone. The bottom line is every one has an opinion, and solicited or not some of people are inclined to share without regard for how it makes the other person feel. So when you need a boost try doing a mirror talk. What is a mirror talk? Glad you asked. Activity: The Mirror TalkInstead of just saying affirmations, make saying them a whole performance. Stand in front of your mirror, strike a power pose (bonus points if it’s diva-style and ends with a finger snap), and say: “I am the main character, the plot twist, and the happy ending. Watch me thrive.” You might feel silly at first, but soon, you’ll start believing it—and honestly, it’s cheaper than therapy. But of course if mine is too over the top for you, draft your own. But the point is that you embody your power while saying it. 2. Stop Outsourcing Your Confidence Ok so can we also agree that handing over your self-worth to other people is like letting a stranger babysit your dream bag—risky and unnecessary. I would never do that, would you? Not my good bag that I paid my hard earned coins for. No sir. Well here’s the thing, waiting for your boss to compliment your work or your family to notice you’ve been thriving is just as unthinkable. Stop that. You don’t need other people to celebrate you, do it yourself. Example: Instead of waiting for someone else to recognize that you killed that presentation, throw yourself a “meeting MVP” party. Grab a cupcake, play your favorite hype song, and tell a friend, “Girl, I was on fire today!” Make celebrating yourself a reflex. You will feel so much better. I promise you. The point is tell yourself you did well when you do well. Don’t downplay your accomplishments. And if someone happens to tell you, you did well. Say, “Thank you.” Do Not Downplay your efforts.et’s keep it real 3. Flip the Script on Negative Self-Talk I know I am not the only one that has an internal troll living in my head that loves to pop up with shady commentary without being summoned. Internal thoughts like, “You’re not smart enough,” or “Who do you think you are?” can be attributed to my internal troll. But trolls belong under bridges, not in your head. So try this, serve them an eviction notice and replace them with something that better serves you. Activity: Give your inner critic a name (I told you I named mine) —and then invite them to rest. When that voice starts chirping, I respond like this: “Oh, Judy (that’s my judgy voice’s name) you’re back? Listen I need you to go sit down and let me handle this.” Then I take nine deep breaths to center myself, and say something to myself that I would say to my fourteen year old niece. And that shuts Judy right down. I deserve kindness and I find that turning my inner critic into a character not only makes it less intimidating but also lets me take control of the narrative. We all have some unhelpful commentary on our performance or personality rattling around in our heads. But just because you let it in, it doesn’t mean you have to let it take control. Tell it to be quiet, and talk nice to yourself. 4. Celebrate Without Apology I remember being told I was too loud, too much, too intimidating. And for a while when I was younger I tried to shrink myself to fit in. But the thing is, I am a jack in the box, I wasn’t designed to fit in, I was designed to stand out. So if someone told you to shrink yourself to make others comfortable, please return that bad advice to the sender. The truth is, your shine doesn’t take anything away from anyone else—it just makes the whole room brighter. So here’s what you can do instead. Every time, and I do mean every single time, you win, whether big or small, celebrate. Celebrations don’t have to be extravagant, so don’t use my blog as a reason for a shopping spree. Celebrations can be as small as a dance party or as large as a dinner party, but in the event that you didn’t catch the hint, the operative word is party. Celebrate you, you will feel so good and you won’t be sitting around waiting for anyone else’s approval. The truth is Dr. Seuss had it right, the people that mind don’t matter, and the people that matter don’t mind. Concrete Example: Got a promotion? Don’t just text your bestie—host a mini dance party

Ladies, can we just take a collective sigh? Whew! We’ve made it through yet another political circus. The debates, the drama, the endless vicious language — it’s enough to make anyone want to crawl into bed with a tub of ice cream (non-dairy for me) and Netflix until further notice. But hold up, before you let the chaos steal your peace, let’s regroup and remember who we are: we are resilient, focused, and entirely too fabulous to let the noise shake us. Why Reducing Stress Matters More Than Ever Before we get into our tips, let’s get real about why this conversation is crucial. For Black and Brown women, chronic stress isn’t just a nuisance — it’s a health risk. The pressure we carry, from systemic racism to workplace microaggressions, can lead to serious health issues like heart disease, anxiety, depression, and even obesity. Research shows that prolonged exposure to stress affects our mental and physical well-being, shortening our lifespans and impacting our quality of life. Multiple women in my life are managing chronic illnesses and I know that stress doesn’t help any of them or me, so let’s get back to maintaining our peace. In our article “Saying No to Invisible Labor,” we talked about the importance of setting boundaries to protect our energy. And right now, with heightened emotions and political tensions, those boundaries are more important than ever. We can’t afford to let external chaos jeopardize our health. Another relevant piece, “When Loss Isn’t Death,” explored how to navigate feelings of disappointment and grief that aren’t tied to a physical loss. The political climate can bring about a similar emotional response, making it essential to acknowledge and process these feelings rather than suppress them. So how do you process those feelings. Glad you asked because your health could very well depend on it. 1. Limit Your Political Doomscrolling (Seriously, Put the Phone Down) Let’s be real: the 24/7 news cycle is like a nosy neighbor who always has something to say — and it’s rarely good. The constant updates will have you feeling like the sky is falling every 10 minutes. Pro tip: You don’t need to check the news every time your phone buzzes. Instead, set a designated time for updates (and give yourself a hard stop when you’ve had enough). Trust me, those opinions and talking heads will still be there tomorrow, but your sanity might not be if you keep scrolling. Post the election I have literally limited my intake of the news. Instead I have been catching up on audiobooks and focusing on accomplishing my goals. Try This: When you catch yourself deep in a social media spiral, take a break and do something that grounds you. Whether it’s blasting your favorite song (cue my Gospel playlist) or taking a walk outside, you’ll feel the shift immediately. 2. Navigating Conversations with Folks Who Voted Differently Real talk ,you’re probably going to cross paths with someone who voted for the other side, whether it’s at the office, the family cookout, or during a casual chat at your favorite café. Here’s the deal: we can’t control how others think, but we can control how we respond. Concrete Tips: 3. Remember: Your Auntie’s Hot Takes Are Not Policy Listen, we all have that relative who suddenly turns into a CNN commentator post-election. They’ve got opinions, and if you know like I know, they will share them — whether you asked or not. If this is your reality, here is an option, smile, nod, and then take a step back. Because here’s the tea: the daily chatter might be loud, but it’s just that — chatter. Don’t let the noise distract you from your goals. Whether it’s your career, your wellness journey, or that side hustle you’ve been nurturing, stay focused. The best clapback to the chaos? Living your life with clarity and joy. Try This: Politely change the topic or simply say, “I’m trying to stay solutions-focused right now. Let’s talk about something that lifts us up!” And if that doesn’t work, a quick exit strategy never hurts. Blame the Wi-Fi connection, go to the bathroom, or excuse yourself to take care of something and that really long to do list and keep it moving! 4. Get Back to Your Self-Care Non-Negotiables It’s easy to let the stress of political outcomes sneak up on us, causing sleepless nights and frayed nerves. But sis, that’s not our portion. It’s time to double down on your self-care. Remember those practices that kept you grounded before? Now is the time to pull them out of the toolbox. You need them now more than ever. Meditation, journaling (or video journaling for my non-writers), bubble baths, dance breaks, walks in the sunshine, focusing on a hobby — whatever your self-care jam is, do it like it’s your job.I started an herb garden and right now my basil is sprouting. That and my kickboxing are keeping my joy factor high. Try This: Create a quick self-care checklist. Make sure it includes at least three activities that help you reconnect with yourself. Need ideas? Here’s a starter pack: dance like no one’s watching, unplug for an hour, and call a friend who makes you belly laugh. 5. Lean on Your Circle (We’re Stronger Together) Let’s not do this alone, okay? Healing and resilience are team sports. It’s time to reach out to your crew — your besties, your work squad, that cousin who knows just how to make you laugh-cry. Set up a virtual brunch, schedule a group FaceTime, or just send a voice note to remind them (and yourself) that you’re in this together. The love and support from your community will keep you grounded and remind you that we are more than any political season. This week I had the opportunity to be in community with amazing women who worked together to shift their moods and their atmosphere. Try This: Start a group chat with a purpose. Instead of debating

A Guide for Black Women In the recent US presidential election, democrats won in states in different regions of the country where Kamala Harris lost, while they upheld the same policies. For me the only difference is her race and as a Black woman this has affirmed a few things for me. One, no one is coming to save me and I must do it myself. Two, Black women continue to be held to an unbelievably high standard while simultaneously met with little and often no care. Three, I will no longer sacrifice myself and my needs, instead I will focus on providing myself the level of care I deserve. So this post is specifically about women who look like me. I think there is value for all women because invisible work is generally the condition of all women. But this post is dedicated to Black women because that is the experience I know and can speak to with authority. Black women suffer from a quiet epidemic that is not discussed or recognized. It is the invisible labor that Black women carry every single day. It’s the unpaid, unrecognized work we do to keep our families, communities, and workplaces running. This kind of labor doesn’t come with a paycheck or a thank you, but it takes up space in our minds and drains our energy. Today, we’re breaking down why it’s time to say no to this invisible work and how you can start reclaiming your time and prioritizing rest. Because, sis, we deserve better. What Is Invisible Labor? Invisible labor is all the work you do that no one notices or acknowledges. It’s the small tasks you handle automatically, the emotional support you provide without question, and the extra responsibilities you take on because it’s just expected. For Black women, it’s compounded by cultural expectations and the “strong Black woman” trope. We’ve been conditioned to be caretakers, problem-solvers, and peacemakers, but at what cost? Examples of invisible labor include: This kind of labor is exhausting, and it’s time we start calling it out for what it is: unpaid work that drains our energy and takes away from the things we want (and need) to do for ourselves. Why Do We Keep Taking It On? Let’s be real: saying no is hard. We’ve been taught to put everyone else first, to be selfless and strong. The “strong Black woman” narrative runs deep—it’s in our culture, it’s what we’ve seen our mothers and grandmothers do, and it’s what’s expected of us. But here’s the thing: strength isn’t about taking on more than you can handle. Real strength is knowing your limits and setting boundaries before you hit them. We keep taking on invisible labor because: It’s time to flip the script. We deserve a life that isn’t just about surviving but thriving, and that starts with saying no. The High Cost of Invisible Labor When we keep taking on invisible work, it doesn’t just affect our time—it affects our health, our relationships, and our overall well-being. Constantly carrying the weight of everyone else’s needs can lead to: The cost is too high, and it’s not worth sacrificing your well-being for the sake of maintaining an image or meeting expectations that were never yours to begin with. How to Say No to Invisible Labor and Reclaim Your Time 1. Recognize the Invisible Work You’re DoingTake a moment to list all the little tasks and responsibilities you’ve taken on this week. I’m talking about everything—from sending that reminder email at work that wasn’t your job to planning family dinners. Seeing it all laid out will help you realize just how much extra labor you’ve been doing without acknowledgment. I remember my male manager once telling me that I didn’t take initiative when I had quietly picked up all the work he was not doing. 2. Set Boundaries and Stick to ThemThe word “no” is a complete sentence. You don’t have to justify it or explain it away. I do recommend saying it matter of factly and repeating it often. I wrote a whole post about how to do that on .Start small if you need to: “No, I can’t take on that project.” “No, I’m not available to help with this event.” The more you practice, the easier it gets. Remember, setting boundaries isn’t selfish; it’s self-preservation. If you think of your energy as an account that needs deposits to balance every withdrawal. For every time you choose to invest your energy, you have to balance that with a deposit. 3. Delegate, Delegate, DelegateIf you’re used to handling everything yourself, delegating can feel foreign. But trust me, it’s time to start sharing the load. Whether it’s at home, at work, or in community settings, find tasks that you can pass on to others whether by outsourcing or bartering. You don’t have to do it all. There are laundry services, food delivery services, home cleaning services you literally can outsource some of this stuff. I grew up in a culture where having help in the home for women who worked outside of the home was normalized. Trying to do it all is completely foreign to me and I thoroughly reject it. I would rather not go to brunch every week or buy a new bag and pay for some one to clean the house. It brings me joy. 4. Reframe Your Idea of StrengthStrength doesn’t mean handling everything on your own. It means knowing when to rest, when to ask for help, and when to say no. Let go of the idea that your worth is tied to your productivity or your ability to carry everyone’s burdens. That is a lie that we have been fed and we continue to buy in to. The bottom line is that the more we carry, the more people will expect us to carry. They are being selfish, we are being martyrs. And our bodies aren’t built for that and it results in disease, depression and a