Who Do You Say You Are?
Sometimes you can find yourself running on autopilot, only to realize you’re living out a script that feels a few sizes too small. I didn’t necessarily realize when this was happening to me. I just knew that I wasn’t happy. I was irritable and crabby and it felt like I was living someone else’s life. Truthfully I was mad at everyone else when the problem was really me. I was changing and the activities I was used to and the things that had traditionally soothed me were no longer working. In short I had outgrown my life, but I was clinging to that too tight uncomfortable life with a vise grip. I am not alone, it’s a common thing. Let me explain. Sometimes, we cling to old roles that don’t reflect who we are currently and we look around and think that the problem is everything and everyone but the person we see in the mirror. To change my too tight uncomfortable life, I did a drastic thing. I packed up and moved to a new state to start over alone. To be clear, you don’t have to be that drastic. You could start by updating our self-perceptions and truly embracing your most authentic self. It’s less expensive, but not necessarily easier. Update Your Identity Narrative To do this we have to agree on a truth and that is: our identities are not set in stone—they morph and grow just as we do physically. But often, we hang onto past versions of ourselves like we hold on to those clothes that no longer fit or are worn out because it’s familiar. I’m not judging you, I get it. I am inviting you to update your identity so that you can align your perception of yourself with who you actually are now, not who you were in the past. For me, the part of my identity I had been clinging to was not positive (shocker). I was operating from a place of fear and letting it limit me. Here’s how my therapist led me through the transformative process: Practical Strategies for Embracing Your Current Identity So like we talked about, shedding outdated aspects of your identity and embracing the current version of yourself requires intentional action. And you know I won’t leave you hanging. Here are some practical strategies to help you if you decide to make this shift: Navigating Relationships with People Stuck in the Past It’s one thing to update your own view of yourself, but another to deal with people who only see the outdated version of you. Now I am channeling all the good in me to write this part because these folks can be hella annoying and my first inclination is to shut down and stop engaging. But thankfully a part of my evolution has included being more gracious. So these strategies I am sharing below are ones that have worked for the new version of me. Here’s my advice on how to handle those who might not yet recognize the person you’ve become. Please feel free to choose what you like and leave the rest. Wrap-Up Ok, so we are at the end of another post inspired by my chats with my therapist. Who do you say you are? This was a powerful question ior me because it forced me to reflect on what was old, what was current, and how I was using outdated narratives and evidence to define myself. So here is my invitation to you – join me on this journey to shed old layers and celebrate the person you’ve become. Think of it as honoring your current self and making space for continued growth and new possibilities. Talk back to me. What aspects of your identity have changed recently? Share your experiences with me, or someone you love. Your story could be the spark that someone else needs. Let’s support each other in embracing our true, updated selves. I can honestly say that this work has helped me discover true joy and look forward to who I am becoming!
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