thriving

When your life has been interrupted sometimes you have to adjust to survive. Survival shouldn’t become a way of life though. But what no one talks about is making the transition from surviving to thriving. That transition can be hard if you don’t know what thriving feels like. And don’t be fooled into thinking that because you thrive in one aspect of life, it will be easy to thrive in all aspects. Sadly, that is not the case. How many times do we hear or read about folks who are on top of their game in professional aspects barely surviving in their personal lives? Or the opposite. The truth that no one told me, is that managing your life is a discreet set of skills that you need to learn. What sucks is that in most cases you’re expected to learn these lessons without direct instruction. But anyway that’s a different subject for a different day. Today we’re talking about learning how to thrive. For me I had to start with my thoughts. I had to be able to visualize what thriving would even feel and look and sound like. I mean if I can’t ‘see’ it then I don’t know what I’m aiming for. Sometimes I saw it in other people’s lives or in books or heard it described. Sometimes it was accidental or sometimes it was because I was searching. To keep it forefront in my mind, I made a vision board using a PPT slide and images I snagged from Google and saved it as the background on my computer. I spend hours on my computer each day and that vision board is always in the background reminding me of what I want for my life. Once I lock in on what thriving in a particular aspect of my life looks like, I have to map out how I will get there in my head like a project. I think about how I want that part of my life to look and feel and then I think about the specific steps I will need to take to get there. To be honest, after I make the list of steps, I don’t always know how I’m going to be able to complete each one. But I don’t get hung up on what I don’t know. I research – I talk to people, read, Google and use all my resources to find out how. And I know that this will feel a bit woo- woo to some folks but when I start moving in the direction I want to go in, I start seeing and getting the opportunities I need. It’s true! Anyway, the other important thing is that I pray. I always pray about the goals I want to accomplish. I always ask God to align my will with His will. That is important for my life. The hardest part of learning to thrive for me has been sticking with it. Cause learning not to settle is an everyday job for me. Old habits die hard so I have to deprive them of oxygen to help them on their way. And that means constantly reflecting on my decisions. I have to ask myself what I really want in a situation, emphasis on really. If I compromise I have to sure that I compromised for a good reason and not because I wasn’t pushing for what I truly wanted. The same for if I give up altogether. And on the days that I realize that I settled – it happens, I have to forgive myself and move on. No dwelling. But it takes effort, it definitely has not been an overnight process for me. I have had a few wins, and some losses. But I don’t count it that way. I count it based on the number of days I wake up feeling like I am living the life I want. And whew, as much work as monitoring my own thoughts is, I finally like my life, so it’s worth it. The journey to peace continues.