personal-growth Archives - Chocolate Serenity

Soft Is Not a Weakness—It’s a Revolution

4 Comments / boundaries, self-sovereignty / 162831pwpadmin

Why letting yourself be soft is the boldest move a strong woman can make For Black and Latinx women, softness was never sold to us as a birthright.We were taught—by women who loved us fiercely—that softness could be dangerous.That the world wouldn’t treat us gently, so we had to be ready.Sharp. Smart. Strong. Silent when necessary.Because being “too soft” might get us dismissed. Or hurt. Or broken. They didn’t teach us this to harm us—they taught us this to protect us.Their love showed up in lessons that kept us safe in a world that too often didn’t see us as soft, human, or whole. So we got good at being hard.At walking into rooms with our shoulders squared and our edges polished.At being useful. Reliable. Unbreakable. But here’s what I’ve come to know:Just because they handed us armor doesn’t mean we have to wear it every day.We can honor what protected them, and still make adjustments to meet the moment we’re in. We are allowed to evolve the blueprint.We are allowed to soften. Softness, Redefined Softness doesn’t mean weakness.It doesn’t mean shrinking.It means choosing peace over performance.It means prioritizing your nervous system instead of your résumé.It means being grounded enough to say, “I don’t have to prove anything today. I just get to be.” Softness is sovereignty.And stepping into it as a high-achieving woman? That’s not a retreat—it’s a revolution. How to Be Soft Without Losing Your Power Here are 7 unique and culturally grounded ways to access the soft life that go beyond bubble baths and vision boards: Because rest isn’t always a nap, and softness doesn’t have to look like lace and lavender. 1. Let the email/text go unanswered—on purpose. Not forever. Just long enough to remind yourself that urgency isn’t your identity.Softness says, “I saw it. I’ll get to it… after I get to me.” Try this: Instead of rushing to respond, pause and ask, “Am I answering this because I want to or because I feel guilty?” If it’s guilt, go light a candle instead. 2. Schedule a “Do Absolutely Nothing” Hour… and guard it like it’s Beyoncé tickets. Softness isn’t just rest—it’s resistance to the urge to perform.So what do you do when the itch to be productive hits? You notice it, name it, and stay put.Try this: Lay on the floor. Watch the ceiling fan spin. Count how many times your brain tries to make a to-do list. Then whisper to yourself, “Not right now, boo.” 3. Step back from being the fixer, the planner, or the backbone—just for a little while. Let someone else be the responsible one. Let the potato salad be too salty. Let the group text stay ungrouped. But what about the guilt?Whew. It’ll show up, yes. But here’s the reframe:You’re not abandoning anyone. You’re modeling balance.You’re teaching folks that the strong one can be soft, too. 4. Stop explaining your rest to people who still believe grinding is a personality trait. Let’s be real: Everyone’s not ready for your soft era—and that’s okay.You don’t owe an explanation. You owe yourself peace. Soft script: No is complete. So is silence. 5. Eat the good mango… alone. You know the one—perfectly ripe, juicy, and dripping sunshine.Usually, you give it away because “somebody else might want it.” This time? You light a candle, slice that thing up, and enjoy it with both hands. Softness is learning to choose joy without splitting it in half. 6. Build a Boundary Playlist. Songs that remind you of who you are when you’re soft, centered, and not playing with your peace. Your soft life soundtrack might include: Hit play when guilt creeps in, when boundaries feel shaky, or when you need to realign with your softness. 7. Let someone else open the jar—literally and metaphorically. Listen, you can do it yourself. You always have.But softness whispers, “You don’t have to.” Let the person offer to help. Let your friend show up. Let your partner make the plan. And here’s the thing, even if it’s not perfect, let it be. Your Soft Era Deserves a Strategy. Choosing softness is bold. But sustaining it? That takes intention. If you’re tired of leading with exhaustion, holding everyone’s emotions, or feeling like peace has to wait until you finish everything else… it’s time to rewrite that script. Let’s map out your soft life—on your terms, with joy, boundaries, and clarity at the center. ✨ Book your complimentary clarity callYou don’t need to hustle for healing. You just need a plan that honors your softness.

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The Attraction Strategy

Wellness / 162831pwpadmin

How to Shift Your Energy & Draw in Better People, Opportunities, and Success I chose to give up complaining for Lent. But what I didn’t plan for? Life testing my whole spirit on Day 1. Picture this: I’m parked peacefully, minding my business, unpacking my groceries. Then, out of nowhere, this man hops into his car, throws it in reverse, and backs straight into me. WITHOUT. EVER. LOOKING. Sir, where do they do that at?! Now, the old me? Whew. She would’ve let him have it. Not full-on shouting match, but trust, he would’ve gotten a very detailed and passionate breakdown of his reckless life choices. But this time? I responded instead of reacted. Not because I wasn’t annoyed (because, seriously??), but because I’ve been intentionally shifting my energy. Practicing mental fitness, self-awareness, and letting go of things that drain me. I took a deep breath, got out of my car, and handled it—firm, direct, and completely in control. And you know what? It felt… different. I was still irritated, but I didn’t let the situation hijack my whole day by complaining about it and rehearsing it repeatedly. It’s not about silencing myself—it’s about choosing where my energy goes. Complaining wouldn’t have fixed my car. It wouldn’t have made him look next time. All it would’ve done was leave me replaying the moment and carrying that frustration around like an overstuffed tote bag. And that’s the shift. I am choosing not to give my energy to things that don’t serve me and to start showing up in ways that attract better outcomes that are more aligned to my ideal life. And THAT, my friend, is exactly what this week’s challenge is all about. ✨ WEEK 4: The Attraction Strategy – Shift How You Show Up & What You Attract If your energy is currency, how are you spending it? This week is all about shifting your vibe so you start attracting the kind of energy, people, and opportunities that actually serve you. ✅ Day 22: Make Eye Contact & Smile—Your Energy Speaks Before You Do 📍 The Old Habit: Walking with your head down, lost in your phone, avoiding eye contact like it’s a game of dodgeball. 🔊 Old Mindset: “People probably aren’t paying attention to me anyway.” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Carry yourself like someone who is open to life, not hiding from it. 💬 New Mindset: “My energy speaks before I do, so let’s make it magnetic.” 🧠 Why It Works: When you move with confidence, people notice. The right people gravitate toward you. 🔥 Pro Tip: Next time you’re out, lock eyes and give a genuine smile. Watch how people react—it shifts everything. ✅ Day 23: Post Something Without Overthinking It 📍 The Old Habit: Editing, filtering, rewriting captions 12 times, then deleting the whole thing because “nah, never mind.” 🔊 Old Mindset: “What if people don’t like it?” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Posting because YOU like it. 💬 New Mindset: “My authenticity is my magnet—the right people will connect with the real me.” 🧠 Why It Works: People don’t connect with perfection. They connect with realness. 🔥 Pro Tip: Post something you love without second-guessing it. A thought, a moment, a picture. Just hit post and walk away. ✅ Day 24: Change Up Your Scene—Go Somewhere New 📍 The Old Habit: Same coffee shop, same routine, same everything. 🔊 Old Mindset: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Fresh spaces bring fresh opportunities. 💬 New Mindset: “Switching things up expands my world. Let’s see what’s out there.” 🧠 Why It Works: New environments spark new energy—it’s science. 🔥 Pro Tip: Visit a new café, go to an event, or just take a different route home. Expose yourself to something new. ✅ Day 25: Check In—Are Your Daily Habits Serving You? 📍 The Old Habit: Moving through life on autopilot, not checking if your habits actually support your goals. 🔊 Old Mindset: “I just do what I have to do.” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Living with intention. 💬 New Mindset: “Every choice I make is shaping my future. I am going to make sure I like the shape.” 🔥 Pro Tip: Ask yourself: Is this habit getting me closer to or further from my dream life? Adjust accordingly. ✅ Day 26: Visualize Your Ideal Life for 5 Minutes 📍 The Old Habit: Hoping things will “just work out” without really seeing the vision. 🔊 Old Mindset: “I kinda know what I want, but I don’t think about it much.” ✨ Energy Upgrade: See it. Feel it. Become it. 💬 New Mindset: “If I can picture it, I can make it real.” 🔥 Pro Tip: Close your eyes. Where are you? What does your dream life feel like? Sound like? Smell like? Get specific. ✅ Day 27: Reach Out to Someone You Admire 📍 The Old Habit: Watching from the sidelines, convincing yourself they’re too busy. 🔊 Old Mindset: “They won’t notice me.” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Making bold connections. 💬 New Mindset: “I deserve to be in spaces with people who inspire me.” 🔥 Pro Tip: Send that message. A DM, an email, a thoughtful comment. Doors open when you knock. ✅ Day 28: Make One Bold Ask 📍 The Old Habit: Waiting for opportunities instead of creating them. 🔊 Old Mindset: “I don’t want to bother anyone.” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Claiming your worth. 💬 New Mindset: “Closed mouths don’t get fed.” 🔥 Pro Tip: Ask for the raise, the collab, the opportunity. The worst they can say is no. The best? Life-changing. ✅ Day 29: Do Something That Scares You (In a Good Way) 📍 The Old Habit: Playing it safe. 🔊 Old Mindset: “What if I fail?” ✨ Energy Upgrade: Growth happens outside the comfort zone. 💬 New Mindset: “Fear means I’m stepping into something bigger. Let’s go.” 🔥 Pro Tip: Choose one thing today that pushes you. Then do it. ✅ Day 30: Reflect—What Shifted? 📍 The Old Habit: Moving on without celebrating growth.

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The Self-Love Reset: Hard—But Sooo Worth It

1 Comment / authenticity, mindset, self-sovereignty, Wellness / 162831pwpadmin

Have you ever made a decision that’s for you—and immediately felt guilty about it? I know I’m not the only one. Maybe you finally said no to something that drained you, took yourself out to dinner instead of waiting for an invite, or enforced a boundary that should’ve been a given… and suddenly, you’re questioning yourself. Am I being selfish?Am I being difficult?Will they be mad at me? Choosing yourself sounds amazing and energizing in theory, but when you actually start doing it? Whew. It can feel strange, uncomfortable, even lonely. Like you’re going against the grain of who you’ve always been. But let me tell you something—just because it feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It means it’s new. And new is where the magic happens. If you’ve spent years saying yes when you wanted to say no, of course saying no is going to feel unnatural.If you’ve spent forever filling your schedule to avoid silence, of course sitting in stillness will feel uncomfortable.If you’ve spent your whole life making decisions based on what others want, of course choosing you will feel foreign. But discomfort is not a stop sign—it’s a sign you’re growing. And that’s exactly what the Self-Love Reset is all about. It’s not just a challenge—it’s a shake-up. A way to put yourself back at the top of your priority list and start making choices that serve you. It won’t always feel easy, and it won’t always feel natural, but every step is designed to help you shift into the next level of your life—one that’s centered on you, your joy, and your well-being. So let’s get into it: Seven days. Seven shifts. And a whole lot of self-love. Here’s what you can expect (and how to push through the parts that feel uncomfortable). What the Self-Love Reset Actually Feels Like (Not the Instagram Version) ✅ Day 8: Taking Yourself Out Solo 📍 What it feels like: You walk into a restaurant, ask for a table for one, and immediately feel seen—but not in a good way. Your mind starts telling you that everyone is watching, wondering why you’re alone. You might feel tempted to stay glued to your phone, rush through your meal, or abandon the whole thing altogether. ✨ Why it’s worth it: The moment you stop overthinking and actually settle in? You realize—Wait, I actually enjoy my own company. You order what you want, take in your surroundings, and soak in the peace of being with yourself. The more you do it, the more you realize that you were never the problem—your fear of judgment was. 💡 Pro Tip: Bring a journal or a book to ease any initial awkwardness, but challenge yourself to put your phone away and be fully present in the experience. ✅ Day 9: Saying No Without an Explanation 📍 What it feels like: You type “no” and immediately your fingers itch to soften it: I’m so sorry, I can’t because… You think about how they’ll take it, how you might disappoint them, how you could maybe squeeze it in if you really tried. Saying no feels like breaking an unspoken agreement you never actually agreed to. ✨ Why it’s worth it: The first time you say no and don’t over-explain? It feels like freedom. The more you do it, the more you realize that people adjust. And the ones who don’t? They were benefiting from your lack of boundaries, not your presence. 💡 Pro Tip: If you struggle with saying no, start with low-stakes situations (ex: declining an event invite). Once you get used to the feeling, work your way up to bigger things. ✅ Day 10: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self 📍 What it feels like: Weirdly vulnerable. You sit there, pen in hand, and suddenly feel like you don’t know yourself at all. What do you even say? It feels silly, awkward, like something from a self-help book that isn’t meant for you. ✨ Why it’s worth it: You push through, and something shifts. You start imagining who you want to be. You put words to dreams you barely admit out loud. Months from now, when you read it back, you’ll see how far you’ve come—and that moment? It’s priceless. 💡 Pro Tip: Seal the letter in an envelope and write “Do Not Open Until [Date].” Having a set time to revisit it makes the transformation even more powerful. ✅ Day 11: Making Decisions Based on What You Want 📍 What it feels like: Guilt. So much guilt. You hesitate, second-guess, and wonder if you’re making a mistake by putting yourself first. The voices of other people’s expectations are loud, and choosing differently feels like rebellion. ✨ Why it’s worth it: Then you do it, and nothing bad happens. The world keeps spinning. And you realize how many of your choices were about pleasing others rather than honoring yourself. The first time you choose you, it feels weird. The second time? A little easier. The hundredth time? Non-negotiable. 💡 Pro Tip: If you’re struggling, ask yourself: If no one else had an opinion, what would I choose? Your answer is your truth. ✅ Day 12: Starting Your Day with Music That Makes You Feel Unstoppable 📍 What it feels like: Simple, right? But then you realize how much you’ve been letting other things—emails, social media, stress—set the tone for your day. ✨ Why it’s worth it: One small shift can change everything. When you start your day with music that lifts your energy, you move differently. You show up differently. And that energy carries into every single thing you do. 💡 Pro Tip: Make a playlist called “Main Character Energy” and let it be your go-to for confidence boosts. ✅ Day 13: Creating & Enforcing a New Boundary 📍 What it feels like: Heavy. You know someone’s not going to like it. You anticipate the pushback, the questions, the subtle guilt-tripping. You feel responsible for their reaction, even though logically, you know you

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What I Am No Longer Doing as I Stand in My Authentic Power

2 Comments / Wellness / 162831pwpadmin

There was a time when I played small—when I tiptoed around people’s feelings, bent over backward for approval, and ran myself ragged trying to be everything to everyone. But those days? Gone. Buried. Never to return. Now, I stand in my authentic power, and let me tell you—it’s a whole new level of peace, power, and unapologetic me. Stepping into this version of myself meant rewriting the rules. No more shrinking, no more second-guessing, no more handing over my joy on a silver platter. So here’s what I’m no longer doing as I reclaim my time, energy, and joy, along with the mindset shifts that got me here: 🚫 Shrinking myself to make others comfortable. 🗣 Before, my internal narrative would have been: “Let me not come across as too much—I’ll tone it down so no one feels intimidated.”😩 How that made me feel: Like I was constantly monitoring myself, walking on eggshells to make sure I didn’t take up too much space. I felt small, invisible, and exhausted from trying to be palatable.✨ Now, it is: “I am exactly the right amount. My success isn’t a threat—it’s an invitation for others to rise.”😌 How this makes me feel now: Liberated. Powerful. Like I can finally exhale and show up fully, knowing that my presence is a gift, not a burden. Talk about a breath of fresh air.🔮 Why this change serves me better: Playing small does nothing but suffocate me and my potential. The fullest version of me owns her brilliance and walks in every room like she belongs—because she does. 🚫 Over-explaining my choices. 🗣 Before, my internal narrative would have been: “I hope they understand why I can’t make it… Maybe if I give them a solid reason, they won’t be upset.”😩 How that made me feel: Like I was constantly justifying myself, as if my choices weren’t valid unless someone else approved them. It was exhausting and made me doubt my own decisions.✨ Now, it is: “No, I won’t be able to. Thanks for understanding!”😌 How this makes me feel now: Confident. At peace. Like I finally trust myself enough to make a decision and let it stand without looking for validation. What a feeling!🔮 Why this change serves me better: My time and energy are mine to allocate. The best version of me doesn’t need a permission slip to make decisions that serve her. Period. 🚫 Performing for approval. 🗣 Before, my internal narrative would have been: “If I do this extra work, they’ll see my value. If I show up for everyone, they’ll appreciate me.”😩 How that made me feel: Like I was running a race I could never win—constantly chasing validation but never quite feeling enough. No matter how much I did, it was never enough to silence the doubt.✨ Now, it is: “My value is not up for negotiation. I bring the magic, and those who recognize it will show up accordingly.”😌 How this makes me feel now: Free. Worthy. Like I finally understand that my worth isn’t measured by my productivity or how much I sacrifice. When I tell you this freed up so much time on my calendar, please believe it.🔮 Why this change serves me better: Exhausting myself for claps? Absolutely not. The best version of me is whole, worthy, and enough—with or without the standing ovation. 🚫 Pouring from an empty cup. 🗣 Before, my internal narrative would have been: “They need me, so I’ll just push through. I can rest later.”😩 How that made me feel: Overwhelmed, drained, and resentful. I was giving so much that there was nothing left for me.✨ Now, it is: “I need me too. My rest is non-negotiable.”😌 How this makes me feel now: Rejuvenated. In control. Like I’m finally giving myself the care I need and was so good at freely giving to others. Now when I need a nap, I take a nap. When I need to pass, I pass without guilt. I freely give myself what I need to renew, restore, and rejuvenate.🔮 Why this change serves me better: You can’t serve from an empty well, and the best version of me understands that rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a requirement. 🚫 Saying yes out of guilt. 🗣 Before, my internal narrative would have been: “I really don’t want to, but they’ll be upset if I say no…”😩 How that made me feel: Trapped. Like I was living for everyone but me. Like my time wasn’t my own.✨ Now, it is: “My time and energy are precious, and ‘no’ is a complete sentence.”😌 How this makes me feel now: Empowered. Like I finally get to choose how I show up and where I invest my energy.🔮 Why this change serves me better: Saying yes when I mean no is a fast pass to resentment. The best version of me moves from joy, not obligation. 🚫 Forgetting who I am. 🗣 Before, my internal narrative would have been: “Maybe I should just stay in this situation—it’s familiar, even if it doesn’t make me happy.”😩 How that made me feel: Stuck. Like I was settling for less than I deserved because I was afraid of change.✨ Now, it is: “I have worked too hard to become this version of me. She is here to stay.”😌 How this makes me feel now: Unshakable. Like I have my own back, and I will never betray myself again.🔮 Why this change serves me better: The woman I fought to become deserves my loyalty. I refuse to abandon her for anyone’s comfort. Are You Ready to Stand in Your Authentic Power? To my fellow high-achieving, heart-centered women—if this resonates, drop a 🔥 in the comments and tell me: Which one hit you the hardest? What are you no longer doing? Here’s to standing tall, living boldly, and choosing you—every single time. 👑✨

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How Looking Within for Validation Helps You Become Your Best Self

5 Comments / mindset / 162831pwpadmin

When You’re Your Best Self, Safety Starts Within Let me tell you about a little gem of wisdom I got from my coach today. Now, you already know my memory isn’t the best, but her words hit so hard that even I couldn’t forget them. She said, “When you’re the best version of yourself, you look within for your safety.” And y’all, when I tell you I needed to hear that? It was like a pressure release valve. Let me paint the scene for you: she started breaking it down, explaining why in those moments when I feel like I need external validation (you know, when you’re hoping someone will say, *“You did a great job!” or “You’re so amazing!”), what I really need is to sit still and care for myself. Oof. Which one of us hasn’t gotten tired of being our own cheerleader? Sometimes you just want someone else to wave a pom-pom or throw a little confetti for all the hard work you’re doing. And that’s normal—it’s human! But my coach hit me with the truth bomb: those moments when I’m craving external validation? That’s just my inner self waving her little flag, letting me know it’s time for me to love on me. Why This Hit Me So Hard Here’s the thing: when you’re on a journey to be your best self, it’s easy to get caught up in looking for outside approval. Whether it’s from a partner, a boss, or even your followers on social media, we all want that little nod that says, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!” But here’s the problem—when you rely on others for that safety and validation, it’s like building a house on sand. If the applause stops or the compliments don’t come, what happens then? You’re left questioning yourself, and that’s no way to live. What my coach reminded me is that real safety—the kind that lasts—isn’t external. It’s internal. It comes from showing up for yourself, even when it feels hard, and being the kind of person who can say, “I see you. I love you. You’re doing great.” When Your Inner Self Calls, Answer Her The next time you catch yourself scrolling through your texts to see if someone acknowledged your efforts, or replaying a conversation hoping they’ll say you did a good job—pause. That’s your inner self whispering, “Hey, it’s me. I need you right now.” Here’s what you can do instead: When you do this, you’re telling yourself, “I’ve got you.” And let me tell you, that’s the most powerful thing you can ever say to yourself. The Beauty of Looking Within Being your best self isn’t about being perfect or never needing a little encouragement. It’s about knowing that at the end of the day, you can always return to you. When you’re able to look within for safety, love, and validation, the rest of the world becomes a bonus—not a requirement. So, the next time you feel like you need external validation, remember: it’s just your inner self asking for a little love. Show up for her. She’s been cheering for you all along. If this message resonates with you and you’re ready to deepen your self-love journey, join us at Chocolate Serenity. Through coaching, retreats, and community, we’re here to help you build a life rooted in joy, peace, and unwavering confidence. Your best self is waiting. Are you ready to meet her? And hey don’t keep this a secret, like, share, comment, follow. The only way we all grow is if we give each other a hand.

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Real Connections, Real Joy

4 Comments / authenticity, Wellness / 162831pwpadmin

How to Cultivate Deeper, More Meaningful Relationships Alright, let’s get real for a minute. You’ve got the career, the degrees, the accomplishments, the home. You’ve checked off all the boxes, and from the outside, life is looking good. But when it comes to the people in your life, the connections that should bring you joy? They’re just not hitting the way they should. That was me a few years ago. To be honest, I am an introvert so when my relationships feel off kilter that is a big deal. We all know that real joy comes from real connections—those deep, meaningful relationships that lift you up, not the surface-level ones that just take up space and make you take a deep breath before engaging with the person. You know that you know what I mean. But here’s the thing I had to learn; meaningful connections don’t just happen because you’ve known someone for a long time or because you see them regularly. They happen when you’re intentional, when you let yourself be seen, and when you focus on the people who really matter. I don’t know about you but for me that was a game changer. I had assumed that people pay attention to my needs in the way that I pay attention to theirs. Boy was I wrong. For the most part people are busy with their lives and they aren’t thinking about what you need, you have to tell them. When I changed my approach my relationships improved and I cannot lie, I was shocked that such a simple thing was the game changer. I have a friend that likes to tell me closed mouths don’t get fed. To be honest, I hate the phrase but in this case, it’s the truth. Anyway let’s talk about how I learned to build those kinds of relationships—the ones that leave you feeling filled up instead of drained – and maybe it can help you too. 1. Be Intentional About Your Relationships Listen, life gets busy. We’ve all been guilty of going through the motions, keeping up with relationships out of habit or obligation. But if you want to feel that real joy, you have to put some thought into who you’re spending your time with. Are you hanging out with people because it’s convenient, or because they truly add something to your life? This was a big one for me, because I am the type of person whose emotions are impacted by the company I keep. So I can’t be around folks who drain my energy. I knew that, but I didn’t pay attention to the fact that I was spending time with people who were taking value, but not adding any. If that’s you here is what worked for me. What can you do?Take a step back and ask yourself: Who am I really connected to? Who makes me feel seen and heard? And who am I just keeping around because it’s comfortable? This is your life, —there’s no room for draining relationships. The people you spend time with should bring you energy, not just take it. I have big sister energy so I am always trying to help and nurture, but I realized I didn’t have balance. I needed people who would do the same for me. Action Step:Here is something you can do: Choose one or two people who you feel a true connection with and schedule time to catch up in a way that feels authentic to the relationship and you. Whether it’s a phone call, a coffee date, or just sitting on the couch choose a medium where you can be fully present with them and focus on building that relationship. Think about it this way, when was the last time you were truly listened to, or truly listened to someone without interrupting with a story of your own or with questions that piqued your curiosity. Try offering a deep listening experience to someone you value and watch what happens. 2. Create Space for Vulnerability Now, I get it—vulnerability isn’t always easy. Especially when you’ve been in control of your life for so long, letting someone see the “real you” can feel uncomfortable. But here’s the thing: real connections require you to show up as your full self. That’s the only way people can truly know you, and that’s where the joy comes from. Ma’am/Sir, this one was hard for me. Like I said, I have big sister energy, so I am not used to being the one who gets the help. But I had to learn to speak up and say what I needed, and wanted. I thought it would be so hard, but honestly because I was doing it with people who really cared, it was not hard at all. I just had to be brave and say it. So I did, I told people when I didn’t want them to be judgy, I told people when I wanted them to listen, I told people when things didn’t sit well for me. And it worked! I got what I needed from the people who cared. What can you do?Start small. You don’t have to spill your whole life story in one sitting, but try sharing a little bit more of what’s going on with you or about what you need the next time you talk to someone you trust. Tell them what’s really on your mind, whether it’s something that’s been bothering you or a dream you’ve been holding onto. Let them in a little more than you usually do. I did this with my younger sister and she was so supportive that I felt silly not doing it for so long. I was used to being there for her, but given the chance, she was there for me and it felt so good. Action Step:The next time you have a conversation with someone you trust, try sharing a small thing about yourself that you’ve been holding on to. It doesn’t have

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