joy

Disruption As an Invitation

authenticity /

Sometimes Disruption Is an Invitation This week something happened that shook me. Someone’s perception of me challenged something I hold deeply. My integrity. And for a moment, it hurt like hell. I am not going to dress that up or make it tidy. It hurt. I sat with that hurt. It interrupted my sleep and really made me question reality. And I think it is interesting that when this kind of hurt happens it can often end at anger. Don’t get me wrong, I was pissed. But the way that my mental health is configured, anger is a dangerous place for me to park. It becomes depression and I am not going back there. So I did what I do in times of crisis. I went to my village. And my village showed up as they always do. Mentors. Therapists. Friends. Sisters in Christ. They showed up. And what I love about my village is that they skipped the platitudes and the generic “you’ve got this” energy that sounds good but lands flat. They showed up with specificity and receipts. With the kind of certainty that only comes from people who have actually watched you work, watched you lead, watched you show up even when it cost you something and there was no return on the investment. They reminded me of what I know to be true about myself when I had temporarily misplaced it. And here is what they reminded me. Someone else’s revisionist history does not get to rewrite what I know to be true about myself. I know how I showed up for this person, the work I did that they will never see, the intentions and advocacy I brought, and the integrity I maintained. Thank God for my village because they poured, cracked jokes, broke bread with me and cleaned the distorted lens I was viewing myself through. They reminded me that I have done the internal and emotional work and have arrived at a place, finally, where I do not need someone else’s agreement to validate what I know about myself. That is sovereignty. And in the moment that rocked me, I misplaced it like we misplace the cellphone that is actually safely in our hands. Don’t give me that look, I know I am not the only one. The thing about sovereignty is that it is so very quiet. It does not announce itself because it is not performing for anyone. It just lives in the way I move and think. So when this disruption happened and I temporarily saw myself through a faulty lens, my equilibrium was thrown off. But I was able to find my way back to me again. Here is what else the disruption revealed. My village. The people who know me, pour into me, and consistently remember who I was when I temporarily forgot. That kind of clarity about who belongs in your life is a gift, even when the wrapping paper is ugly. And then the other thing. The thing that is harder to say out loud. Everybody cannot come with you into your next chapter. Some relationships are seasonal. Some people belong in one part of your story and not the next, and knowing when to let someone off the bus is discernment. It is part of the work. At this point in my life, I am entering my Authorship Era. I have spent decades checking boxes. Building. Achieving. Showing up for everyone and everything with my whole chest. But in this era I am asking different questions. What do I really want when I am pleasing no one? What do I want to build for myself instead of a corporation? Who do I want beside me as I take this journey, especially when it gets messy? What do I want my legacy to actually feel like? I found my answers. And a life that feels unmistakably mine. Which is why I am done auditioning for my value. Professionally, relationally, everywhere. I know what I bring. You can choose me or not choose me. Neither changes what I know about myself. And if you choose to craft a narrative about me that leaves out critical pieces, that says more about you than it does about me. The beauty of this lesson is that it is yours too. Maybe you are sitting in disruption right now and it is hurting and making you angry. That is real. Feel your emotions. But consider this. That disruption could also be revealing something. Your strength. Your boundaries. Your people. Your purpose. Your next chapter. Get quiet enough to ask what it is showing you. Because sometimes the thing that shakes you is the very thing that reminds you of exactly who you are. And when you remember that, what comes next is transformation. It was for me. Before I share my transformation, I want to stop and say thank you. To everyone who has followed me here on WordPress, who has read these words, shared them, saved them, or sent them to a friend who needed them. You showed up for this writing consistently and that has meant more than I can adequately say. This community was never lost on me. Every comment, every click, every quiet moment where something I wrote landed for you — I carried all of it. I came to WordPress in a season when I was looking for my authentic voice. Academia had done a thorough job of convincing me that my natural voice, the one that is funny and direct and sassy and maybe a little too honest for some, was not serious enough to matter. Writing here proved otherwise. You proved otherwise. And what you gave me was the courage to take that voice somewhere it could finally show up complete. So recently I made several decisions. And I am at peace with every single one of them. I resigned from a job I held for 14 years. I had been auditioning for

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Stop Romanticizing Rock Bottom

authenticity, healing, joy, mental fitness, mindset, peace, personal reflection, self-compassion, transition /

Stop Telling Yourself and Your Friends That Healing Requires Rock Bottom “Stop telling your sisters that pain is the only way to earn peace.” You’ve probably said it yourself. Maybe you believed it. I am not judging because I used to think this way as well. The phrase rolls off the tongue when someone is in pain, “Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can rise.” That may sound comforting, even wise, but repeating that narrative can quietly reinforce the very pain we are trying to soothe. It may offer a sense of structure to struggle, but it is not the only shape that healing can take. The truth is rock bottom is not a spiritual prerequisite. It is not a rite of passage. And it is certainly not the only path to clarity or self-trust. Still, you hear it everywhere. Podcasts. Instagram captions. Rom-coms. Well-meaning advice from people who are trying to help you. Yet this idea that everything must unravel before you can rebuild is a whole lie. The truth is much more nuanced because you do not have to wait until everything breaks to begin making changes in your life. You can shift your direction, clarify your boundaries, and reclaim your peace without waiting for a crisis to give you permission. And while we are at it, let’s stop telling other women that collapse is the cost of clarity. We do not need to keep reinforcing the idea that we can only shift after devastation. You can support someone through their transformation before it life falls apart. As Black and Latina women we carry enough, we don’t need to promote breaking down. Think about it this way, if you’ve ever watched a friend ignore her own needs while caring for everyone else, and were concerned. Ask yourself, ‘How would she benefit if she could start reclaiming herself without having to lose everything to do it?’. We have been socialized to normalize exhaustion as evidence of excellence. But when you are sitting with your sister through their crisis while quietly crumbling inside your own, you know the toll it takes. You know what is like to smile through the weight of responsibility while feeling disconnected from your own life. Many high-achieving women are silently carrying this heaviness every day. There Is Another Way to Heal The truth is healing does not have to involve drastic gestures, painful upheaval, or isolation. Instead, it can be a quiet yet powerful choice and it starts with deciding not to abandon yourself anymore. I know this for a fact because after doing it the hard way, I learned to heal the soft way. And then I guided other women who initially believed they needed radical change like leaving jobs, relationships, or even relocating, to regain clarity gently. Honestly what most of them needed was simpler but equally powerful. They needed to renegotiate their commitments, to redefine success on their own terms, and to start placing their peace and joy at the top of their priority list. And that looked like creating new agreements with the lives they had already created. Three Thoughtful Questions to Prompt Gentle Change (with Real-World Examples) If you are where I was, feeling overwhelmed and contemplating dramatic changes, I encourage you to pause for a moment. Try this instead, before you burn it all down or start from scratch, consider these three powerful questions to help you visualize what shifting without collapsing might look like: 1. Are you exhausted because of what you are doing, or is it how you are approaching your responsibilities? Example: Perhaps you genuinely love your career, but lately you feel drained. The real issue might not be your job itself, but rather your habit of responding to every email immediately or consistently volunteering to lead projects out of obligation rather than interest. You might simply need clearer boundaries around your availability, not an entirely new role. For me this looked like removing my work Zoom and email accounts from my phone so that I was not tempted to work during my private time. When I close the computer at the end of the work day, I focus on my personal life and that has been a game changer for me. 2. Is what you are feeling truly burnout, or might you be grieving a version of success that never authentically aligned with your true self? Example: Maybe you thought becoming a senior executive would feel rewarding, yet now that you’ve achieved it, the pressure to maintain appearances leaves you feeling empty. It might not be burnout you’re experiencing, but grief over pursuing someone else’s definition of success. Recognizing this can help you redefine your goals on your own authentic terms. While I love the work that I do in my 9 – 5, it is only one slice of me. This blog, my coaching, and my writing are ways that I connect to my true self so that I can replenish my joy. Being able to complete a collection of short stories that speak to the hearts of high achieving women is one way I am defining success these days. Getting this blog out weekly with positive images of melanated women is another way. The accolades are nice, but define for yourself what lights up your soul and makes you feel whole. 3. If you chose to remain exactly where you are but began honoring your needs in small, honest ways, what might shift? Example: Imagine staying in your current relationship, but finally speaking up when your boundaries are crossed instead of silently enduring. Or imagine remaining at your current job, but saying no when asked to take on extra responsibilities that do not align with your personal goals or wellness. Small, honest acts of self-advocacy can profoundly shift your experience without requiring drastic upheaval. In my 9 – 5 life if you don’t use all of your vacation days in a year, you are only allowed to carry five

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Soft Is Not a Weakness—It’s a Revolution

4 Comments / boundaries, self-sovereignty /

Why letting yourself be soft is the boldest move a strong woman can make For Black and Latinx women, softness was never sold to us as a birthright.We were taught—by women who loved us fiercely—that softness could be dangerous.That the world wouldn’t treat us gently, so we had to be ready.Sharp. Smart. Strong. Silent when necessary.Because being “too soft” might get us dismissed. Or hurt. Or broken. They didn’t teach us this to harm us—they taught us this to protect us.Their love showed up in lessons that kept us safe in a world that too often didn’t see us as soft, human, or whole. So we got good at being hard.At walking into rooms with our shoulders squared and our edges polished.At being useful. Reliable. Unbreakable. But here’s what I’ve come to know:Just because they handed us armor doesn’t mean we have to wear it every day.We can honor what protected them, and still make adjustments to meet the moment we’re in. We are allowed to evolve the blueprint.We are allowed to soften. Softness, Redefined Softness doesn’t mean weakness.It doesn’t mean shrinking.It means choosing peace over performance.It means prioritizing your nervous system instead of your résumé.It means being grounded enough to say, “I don’t have to prove anything today. I just get to be.” Softness is sovereignty.And stepping into it as a high-achieving woman? That’s not a retreat—it’s a revolution. How to Be Soft Without Losing Your Power Here are 7 unique and culturally grounded ways to access the soft life that go beyond bubble baths and vision boards: Because rest isn’t always a nap, and softness doesn’t have to look like lace and lavender. 1. Let the email/text go unanswered—on purpose. Not forever. Just long enough to remind yourself that urgency isn’t your identity.Softness says, “I saw it. I’ll get to it… after I get to me.” Try this: Instead of rushing to respond, pause and ask, “Am I answering this because I want to or because I feel guilty?” If it’s guilt, go light a candle instead. 2. Schedule a “Do Absolutely Nothing” Hour… and guard it like it’s Beyoncé tickets. Softness isn’t just rest—it’s resistance to the urge to perform.So what do you do when the itch to be productive hits? You notice it, name it, and stay put.Try this: Lay on the floor. Watch the ceiling fan spin. Count how many times your brain tries to make a to-do list. Then whisper to yourself, “Not right now, boo.” 3. Step back from being the fixer, the planner, or the backbone—just for a little while. Let someone else be the responsible one. Let the potato salad be too salty. Let the group text stay ungrouped. But what about the guilt?Whew. It’ll show up, yes. But here’s the reframe:You’re not abandoning anyone. You’re modeling balance.You’re teaching folks that the strong one can be soft, too. 4. Stop explaining your rest to people who still believe grinding is a personality trait. Let’s be real: Everyone’s not ready for your soft era—and that’s okay.You don’t owe an explanation. You owe yourself peace. Soft script: No is complete. So is silence. 5. Eat the good mango… alone. You know the one—perfectly ripe, juicy, and dripping sunshine.Usually, you give it away because “somebody else might want it.” This time? You light a candle, slice that thing up, and enjoy it with both hands. Softness is learning to choose joy without splitting it in half. 6. Build a Boundary Playlist. Songs that remind you of who you are when you’re soft, centered, and not playing with your peace. Your soft life soundtrack might include: Hit play when guilt creeps in, when boundaries feel shaky, or when you need to realign with your softness. 7. Let someone else open the jar—literally and metaphorically. Listen, you can do it yourself. You always have.But softness whispers, “You don’t have to.” Let the person offer to help. Let your friend show up. Let your partner make the plan. And here’s the thing, even if it’s not perfect, let it be. Your Soft Era Deserves a Strategy. Choosing softness is bold. But sustaining it? That takes intention. If you’re tired of leading with exhaustion, holding everyone’s emotions, or feeling like peace has to wait until you finish everything else… it’s time to rewrite that script. Let’s map out your soft life—on your terms, with joy, boundaries, and clarity at the center. ✨ Book your complimentary clarity callYou don’t need to hustle for healing. You just need a plan that honors your softness.

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The Self-Love Reset: Hard—But Sooo Worth It

1 Comment / authenticity, mindset, self-sovereignty, Wellness /

Have you ever made a decision that’s for you—and immediately felt guilty about it? I know I’m not the only one. Maybe you finally said no to something that drained you, took yourself out to dinner instead of waiting for an invite, or enforced a boundary that should’ve been a given… and suddenly, you’re questioning yourself. Am I being selfish?Am I being difficult?Will they be mad at me? Choosing yourself sounds amazing and energizing in theory, but when you actually start doing it? Whew. It can feel strange, uncomfortable, even lonely. Like you’re going against the grain of who you’ve always been. But let me tell you something—just because it feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It means it’s new. And new is where the magic happens. If you’ve spent years saying yes when you wanted to say no, of course saying no is going to feel unnatural.If you’ve spent forever filling your schedule to avoid silence, of course sitting in stillness will feel uncomfortable.If you’ve spent your whole life making decisions based on what others want, of course choosing you will feel foreign. But discomfort is not a stop sign—it’s a sign you’re growing. And that’s exactly what the Self-Love Reset is all about. It’s not just a challenge—it’s a shake-up. A way to put yourself back at the top of your priority list and start making choices that serve you. It won’t always feel easy, and it won’t always feel natural, but every step is designed to help you shift into the next level of your life—one that’s centered on you, your joy, and your well-being. So let’s get into it: Seven days. Seven shifts. And a whole lot of self-love. Here’s what you can expect (and how to push through the parts that feel uncomfortable). What the Self-Love Reset Actually Feels Like (Not the Instagram Version) ✅ Day 8: Taking Yourself Out Solo 📍 What it feels like: You walk into a restaurant, ask for a table for one, and immediately feel seen—but not in a good way. Your mind starts telling you that everyone is watching, wondering why you’re alone. You might feel tempted to stay glued to your phone, rush through your meal, or abandon the whole thing altogether. ✨ Why it’s worth it: The moment you stop overthinking and actually settle in? You realize—Wait, I actually enjoy my own company. You order what you want, take in your surroundings, and soak in the peace of being with yourself. The more you do it, the more you realize that you were never the problem—your fear of judgment was. 💡 Pro Tip: Bring a journal or a book to ease any initial awkwardness, but challenge yourself to put your phone away and be fully present in the experience. ✅ Day 9: Saying No Without an Explanation 📍 What it feels like: You type “no” and immediately your fingers itch to soften it: I’m so sorry, I can’t because… You think about how they’ll take it, how you might disappoint them, how you could maybe squeeze it in if you really tried. Saying no feels like breaking an unspoken agreement you never actually agreed to. ✨ Why it’s worth it: The first time you say no and don’t over-explain? It feels like freedom. The more you do it, the more you realize that people adjust. And the ones who don’t? They were benefiting from your lack of boundaries, not your presence. 💡 Pro Tip: If you struggle with saying no, start with low-stakes situations (ex: declining an event invite). Once you get used to the feeling, work your way up to bigger things. ✅ Day 10: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self 📍 What it feels like: Weirdly vulnerable. You sit there, pen in hand, and suddenly feel like you don’t know yourself at all. What do you even say? It feels silly, awkward, like something from a self-help book that isn’t meant for you. ✨ Why it’s worth it: You push through, and something shifts. You start imagining who you want to be. You put words to dreams you barely admit out loud. Months from now, when you read it back, you’ll see how far you’ve come—and that moment? It’s priceless. 💡 Pro Tip: Seal the letter in an envelope and write “Do Not Open Until [Date].” Having a set time to revisit it makes the transformation even more powerful. ✅ Day 11: Making Decisions Based on What You Want 📍 What it feels like: Guilt. So much guilt. You hesitate, second-guess, and wonder if you’re making a mistake by putting yourself first. The voices of other people’s expectations are loud, and choosing differently feels like rebellion. ✨ Why it’s worth it: Then you do it, and nothing bad happens. The world keeps spinning. And you realize how many of your choices were about pleasing others rather than honoring yourself. The first time you choose you, it feels weird. The second time? A little easier. The hundredth time? Non-negotiable. 💡 Pro Tip: If you’re struggling, ask yourself: If no one else had an opinion, what would I choose? Your answer is your truth. ✅ Day 12: Starting Your Day with Music That Makes You Feel Unstoppable 📍 What it feels like: Simple, right? But then you realize how much you’ve been letting other things—emails, social media, stress—set the tone for your day. ✨ Why it’s worth it: One small shift can change everything. When you start your day with music that lifts your energy, you move differently. You show up differently. And that energy carries into every single thing you do. 💡 Pro Tip: Make a playlist called “Main Character Energy” and let it be your go-to for confidence boosts. ✅ Day 13: Creating & Enforcing a New Boundary 📍 What it feels like: Heavy. You know someone’s not going to like it. You anticipate the pushback, the questions, the subtle guilt-tripping. You feel responsible for their reaction, even though logically, you know you

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From Villain to Queen

1 Comment / authenticity, boundaries, self-sovereignty /

The Truth About Letting Go I was talking to someone recently, and they shared how they’ve been letting go of invisible labor and finally prioritizing their own self-care. But then they said something that made me clutch my pearls. “I guess I’m stepping into my villain era,” they said with a nervous laugh. Now, hold up. Villain era? Let me stop you right there. Choosing yourself isn’t villainous—it’s regal. Letting go of everyone else’s baggage, deciding you don’t need to solve problems you didn’t create, and putting your own well-being front and center? That’s not destruction; that’s elevation. It’s not your villain era. It’s your queen era. But let’s be honest: stepping into your queen era can feel a little…off. That’s because for so long, we’ve been taught to be the ride-or-die for everyone but ourselves. When you start saying no, when you stop making yourself available 24/7, it can feel like betrayal—like you’re doing something wrong, even when you know deep down it’s the right move. Why Letting Go Feels Villainous So, why does letting go of everyone’s everything feel like you just turned into the bad guy in a telenovela? Let me break it down: How to Deal with These Feelings So, how do you step into your queen era without being weighed down by all this villain energy? Let me help you out: From Villain to Queen Let me tell you something: stepping into your queen era isn’t about turning your back on everyone—it’s about finally turning toward yourself. It’s about realizing that your well-being is a priority, not an afterthought. Yes, some people are going to be in their feelings about your boundaries. Yes, you’ll have moments when the guilt tries to creep in. But here’s the thing: queens don’t explain their reign. They just reign. And remember this: the people who really love you will understand. They’ll adjust, and they’ll respect your need to take care of yourself. Anyone who doesn’t? Well, maybe they don’t deserve front-row seats in your kingdom. So no, you’re not a villain for letting go. You’re a queen for rising. Put on your crown, straighten your posture, and remember: your era isn’t about destruction—it’s about flourishing. It’s time to step into your queen era and reclaim your throne! If you’ve been carrying invisible labor, saying yes when you mean no, or feeling the weight of being everyone’s go-to, this is your sign to choose yourself. Start small—set a boundary, take a rest day, or say yes to your joy. Want to connect with a community of like-minded women who are stepping into their power? Join us for the Not My Red Wagon to Pull event! Not My Red Wagon to Pull: A Virtual Gathering for Women Ready to Reclaim Their Power In this transformative session, we’ll unpack the weight of invisible labor, explore the grief and growth of letting go, and celebrate the freedom of prioritizing YOU. This is more than an event—it’s a space for connection, healing, and stepping boldly into your queen era. ✨ When: January 20 at noon ET✨ Where: Virtual ✨ What You’ll Get: Practical tools, heartfelt conversations, and a supportive community to remind you that choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s revolutionary. Reserve your spot today and start your journey toward a lighter, more fulfilling life. Register here.

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How Looking Within for Validation Helps You Become Your Best Self

5 Comments / mindset /

When You’re Your Best Self, Safety Starts Within Let me tell you about a little gem of wisdom I got from my coach today. Now, you already know my memory isn’t the best, but her words hit so hard that even I couldn’t forget them. She said, “When you’re the best version of yourself, you look within for your safety.” And y’all, when I tell you I needed to hear that? It was like a pressure release valve. Let me paint the scene for you: she started breaking it down, explaining why in those moments when I feel like I need external validation (you know, when you’re hoping someone will say, *“You did a great job!” or “You’re so amazing!”), what I really need is to sit still and care for myself. Oof. Which one of us hasn’t gotten tired of being our own cheerleader? Sometimes you just want someone else to wave a pom-pom or throw a little confetti for all the hard work you’re doing. And that’s normal—it’s human! But my coach hit me with the truth bomb: those moments when I’m craving external validation? That’s just my inner self waving her little flag, letting me know it’s time for me to love on me. Why This Hit Me So Hard Here’s the thing: when you’re on a journey to be your best self, it’s easy to get caught up in looking for outside approval. Whether it’s from a partner, a boss, or even your followers on social media, we all want that little nod that says, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie!” But here’s the problem—when you rely on others for that safety and validation, it’s like building a house on sand. If the applause stops or the compliments don’t come, what happens then? You’re left questioning yourself, and that’s no way to live. What my coach reminded me is that real safety—the kind that lasts—isn’t external. It’s internal. It comes from showing up for yourself, even when it feels hard, and being the kind of person who can say, “I see you. I love you. You’re doing great.” When Your Inner Self Calls, Answer Her The next time you catch yourself scrolling through your texts to see if someone acknowledged your efforts, or replaying a conversation hoping they’ll say you did a good job—pause. That’s your inner self whispering, “Hey, it’s me. I need you right now.” Here’s what you can do instead: When you do this, you’re telling yourself, “I’ve got you.” And let me tell you, that’s the most powerful thing you can ever say to yourself. The Beauty of Looking Within Being your best self isn’t about being perfect or never needing a little encouragement. It’s about knowing that at the end of the day, you can always return to you. When you’re able to look within for safety, love, and validation, the rest of the world becomes a bonus—not a requirement. So, the next time you feel like you need external validation, remember: it’s just your inner self asking for a little love. Show up for her. She’s been cheering for you all along. If this message resonates with you and you’re ready to deepen your self-love journey, join us at Chocolate Serenity. Through coaching, retreats, and community, we’re here to help you build a life rooted in joy, peace, and unwavering confidence. Your best self is waiting. Are you ready to meet her? And hey don’t keep this a secret, like, share, comment, follow. The only way we all grow is if we give each other a hand.

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Recovering from Burnout

Wellness /

Reclaim Your Energy After a Tough Week Last week felt like walking through a storm with no umbrella, no shoes, no raincoat, with wind whipping around you and Florida’s signature sideways rain falling as if it was getting extra credit to fall. In a nutshell, it was a dumpster fire of a week. And listen, it wasn’t just one thing. No, no, no. Life had to go full drama. It was a combination of heartbreak, tough decisions, and some serious physical exhaustion. I had to say goodbye to a friend I just made in this new city (which still doesn’t feel like home), deal with the emotional pain of laying off nine people (yes, NINE), and on top of that, I got hit with some kind of bug that left me too weak to keep anything down. The week wasn’t just tough—it was a full-on dumpster fire. By the time it was over, I didn’t feel like myself. I felt drained, like my energy tank was running on fumes. I mean if there were gold medals for dumpster fire weeks, last week would have been a contender. It wasn’t bad enough to be tragic, but it was stressful and uncomfortable at every turn. Every time I thought I’d found my footing, something else knocked me right back down. By Friday, I was spent—exhausted, frustrated, and completely over it. But here’s the thing: somehow, I made it through. And if you’ve ever had a week that slapped you around like this one did me, this one’s for you. Because even when life decides to throw everything at you, there’s a way to rebuild, recharge, and come back stronger—without losing your mind in the process. Here’s how you do it. 1. Give Yourself Permission to Rest! Look, I know we’re all conditioned to push through everything like superheroes, but after a week like this, I knew I had earned a break, not that I need to earn one. Rest is not optional—it’s mandatory. Your body and your mind are practically begging for it. And don’t you dare feel guilty about it! I chose to roll back the amount of activities I engaged in throughout the week. On Friday, I signed off early cause I was managing a migraine and took a nap. And on Saturday, I took some cognitive rest. I went to test drive a car that I was interested in purchasing, went out for lunch with Rodney, and spent some time upgrading this site, all of which made me happy. How does this apply to you? Glad you asked. Tip: When life is throwing punches your way prioritize your rest. One way is to schedule a “do-nothing” day. Yep, I said it. Plan a day where you don’t answer emails, selectively answer your phone, don’t tackle chores, and don’t even think about tomorrow’s to-do list. Your job is to rest, recharge, and indulge in whatever brings you peace—whether that’s binge-watching your favorite shows or sipping a chai latte in total silence. 2. Feel All the Feels Last week, even though I was feeling like trash both physically and emotionally, I had to show up for my team. So even though I was feeling a lot of emotions, I was trying really hard to not to show them. But even though I tried hard not to show them with my team, the truth is, it’s totally okay to feel all the emotions: frustration, sadness, anger, whatever shows up. Trying to act like it’s all good when it’s not will just keep you stuck. Honor what you’re feeling, even if it’s not cute. I waited until the end of the day to let all my feelings out, but I did let them out. My sister and Rodney heard a lot of it, and they were great about holding space for me. Tip: When life has you on an emotional roller coaster, take a moment to check in with yourself. If you’re a writer, grab a journal and spill it all. Or if writing feels too formal, hit record on your phone and just talk it out. Let those emotions have their say—because once they’re out, you’ll feel a little lighter and a lot more clear. 3. Reconnect with Your Happy Place When life feels like it’s taken everything out of you, it’s time to reconnect with what makes you you. Your happy place might be the beach (yep, that’s me), a good book, or even just sitting in total silence for five minutes. The point is, find what grounds you and lean into it. This week was kind of cold here and I was feeling like trash so even though I didn’t go to my happy place, I played a lot with my plants and made space for them in my office. I also may or may not have engaged in some retail therapy with accoutrements for my plants but that’s another story for another day. Tip: Take some time when you’re feeling off kilter to do something that brings you back to center. For me, it’s sitting by the ocean, chai latte in hand, just letting the sound of the waves calm my spirit. Maybe for you, it’s putting on that 90s R&B playlist and dancing in the living room, or calling your bestie for a vent session. Whatever it is, make time for it—it’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. 4. Focus on What You Can Control Not everything is under your control, and that’s okay. What is in your control is how you take care of yourself and how you respond moving forward. You don’t have to fix everything at once. Start small, and watch how those little wins start to rebuild your energy. There was not a whole lot that I could control last week, but I focused on what I could. I appealed to hiring managers I know to try to help the folks who were getting laid off get some leads, I worked on my

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