growth

Stop Romanticizing Rock Bottom

authenticity, healing, joy, mental fitness, mindset, peace, personal reflection, self-compassion, transition /

Stop Telling Yourself and Your Friends That Healing Requires Rock Bottom “Stop telling your sisters that pain is the only way to earn peace.” You’ve probably said it yourself. Maybe you believed it. I am not judging because I used to think this way as well. The phrase rolls off the tongue when someone is in pain, “Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can rise.” That may sound comforting, even wise, but repeating that narrative can quietly reinforce the very pain we are trying to soothe. It may offer a sense of structure to struggle, but it is not the only shape that healing can take. The truth is rock bottom is not a spiritual prerequisite. It is not a rite of passage. And it is certainly not the only path to clarity or self-trust. Still, you hear it everywhere. Podcasts. Instagram captions. Rom-coms. Well-meaning advice from people who are trying to help you. Yet this idea that everything must unravel before you can rebuild is a whole lie. The truth is much more nuanced because you do not have to wait until everything breaks to begin making changes in your life. You can shift your direction, clarify your boundaries, and reclaim your peace without waiting for a crisis to give you permission. And while we are at it, let’s stop telling other women that collapse is the cost of clarity. We do not need to keep reinforcing the idea that we can only shift after devastation. You can support someone through their transformation before it life falls apart. As Black and Latina women we carry enough, we don’t need to promote breaking down. Think about it this way, if you’ve ever watched a friend ignore her own needs while caring for everyone else, and were concerned. Ask yourself, ‘How would she benefit if she could start reclaiming herself without having to lose everything to do it?’. We have been socialized to normalize exhaustion as evidence of excellence. But when you are sitting with your sister through their crisis while quietly crumbling inside your own, you know the toll it takes. You know what is like to smile through the weight of responsibility while feeling disconnected from your own life. Many high-achieving women are silently carrying this heaviness every day. There Is Another Way to Heal The truth is healing does not have to involve drastic gestures, painful upheaval, or isolation. Instead, it can be a quiet yet powerful choice and it starts with deciding not to abandon yourself anymore. I know this for a fact because after doing it the hard way, I learned to heal the soft way. And then I guided other women who initially believed they needed radical change like leaving jobs, relationships, or even relocating, to regain clarity gently. Honestly what most of them needed was simpler but equally powerful. They needed to renegotiate their commitments, to redefine success on their own terms, and to start placing their peace and joy at the top of their priority list. And that looked like creating new agreements with the lives they had already created. Three Thoughtful Questions to Prompt Gentle Change (with Real-World Examples) If you are where I was, feeling overwhelmed and contemplating dramatic changes, I encourage you to pause for a moment. Try this instead, before you burn it all down or start from scratch, consider these three powerful questions to help you visualize what shifting without collapsing might look like: 1. Are you exhausted because of what you are doing, or is it how you are approaching your responsibilities? Example: Perhaps you genuinely love your career, but lately you feel drained. The real issue might not be your job itself, but rather your habit of responding to every email immediately or consistently volunteering to lead projects out of obligation rather than interest. You might simply need clearer boundaries around your availability, not an entirely new role. For me this looked like removing my work Zoom and email accounts from my phone so that I was not tempted to work during my private time. When I close the computer at the end of the work day, I focus on my personal life and that has been a game changer for me. 2. Is what you are feeling truly burnout, or might you be grieving a version of success that never authentically aligned with your true self? Example: Maybe you thought becoming a senior executive would feel rewarding, yet now that you’ve achieved it, the pressure to maintain appearances leaves you feeling empty. It might not be burnout you’re experiencing, but grief over pursuing someone else’s definition of success. Recognizing this can help you redefine your goals on your own authentic terms. While I love the work that I do in my 9 – 5, it is only one slice of me. This blog, my coaching, and my writing are ways that I connect to my true self so that I can replenish my joy. Being able to complete a collection of short stories that speak to the hearts of high achieving women is one way I am defining success these days. Getting this blog out weekly with positive images of melanated women is another way. The accolades are nice, but define for yourself what lights up your soul and makes you feel whole. 3. If you chose to remain exactly where you are but began honoring your needs in small, honest ways, what might shift? Example: Imagine staying in your current relationship, but finally speaking up when your boundaries are crossed instead of silently enduring. Or imagine remaining at your current job, but saying no when asked to take on extra responsibilities that do not align with your personal goals or wellness. Small, honest acts of self-advocacy can profoundly shift your experience without requiring drastic upheaval. In my 9 – 5 life if you don’t use all of your vacation days in a year, you are only allowed to carry five

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Soft Is Not a Weakness—It’s a Revolution

4 Comments / boundaries, self-sovereignty /

Why letting yourself be soft is the boldest move a strong woman can make For Black and Latinx women, softness was never sold to us as a birthright.We were taught—by women who loved us fiercely—that softness could be dangerous.That the world wouldn’t treat us gently, so we had to be ready.Sharp. Smart. Strong. Silent when necessary.Because being “too soft” might get us dismissed. Or hurt. Or broken. They didn’t teach us this to harm us—they taught us this to protect us.Their love showed up in lessons that kept us safe in a world that too often didn’t see us as soft, human, or whole. So we got good at being hard.At walking into rooms with our shoulders squared and our edges polished.At being useful. Reliable. Unbreakable. But here’s what I’ve come to know:Just because they handed us armor doesn’t mean we have to wear it every day.We can honor what protected them, and still make adjustments to meet the moment we’re in. We are allowed to evolve the blueprint.We are allowed to soften. Softness, Redefined Softness doesn’t mean weakness.It doesn’t mean shrinking.It means choosing peace over performance.It means prioritizing your nervous system instead of your rĂ©sumĂ©.It means being grounded enough to say, “I don’t have to prove anything today. I just get to be.” Softness is sovereignty.And stepping into it as a high-achieving woman? That’s not a retreat—it’s a revolution. How to Be Soft Without Losing Your Power Here are 7 unique and culturally grounded ways to access the soft life that go beyond bubble baths and vision boards: Because rest isn’t always a nap, and softness doesn’t have to look like lace and lavender. 1. Let the email/text go unanswered—on purpose. Not forever. Just long enough to remind yourself that urgency isn’t your identity.Softness says, “I saw it. I’ll get to it… after I get to me.” Try this: Instead of rushing to respond, pause and ask, “Am I answering this because I want to or because I feel guilty?” If it’s guilt, go light a candle instead. 2. Schedule a “Do Absolutely Nothing” Hour… and guard it like it’s BeyoncĂ© tickets. Softness isn’t just rest—it’s resistance to the urge to perform.So what do you do when the itch to be productive hits? You notice it, name it, and stay put.Try this: Lay on the floor. Watch the ceiling fan spin. Count how many times your brain tries to make a to-do list. Then whisper to yourself, “Not right now, boo.” 3. Step back from being the fixer, the planner, or the backbone—just for a little while. Let someone else be the responsible one. Let the potato salad be too salty. Let the group text stay ungrouped. But what about the guilt?Whew. It’ll show up, yes. But here’s the reframe:You’re not abandoning anyone. You’re modeling balance.You’re teaching folks that the strong one can be soft, too. 4. Stop explaining your rest to people who still believe grinding is a personality trait. Let’s be real: Everyone’s not ready for your soft era—and that’s okay.You don’t owe an explanation. You owe yourself peace. Soft script: No is complete. So is silence. 5. Eat the good mango… alone. You know the one—perfectly ripe, juicy, and dripping sunshine.Usually, you give it away because “somebody else might want it.” This time? You light a candle, slice that thing up, and enjoy it with both hands. Softness is learning to choose joy without splitting it in half. 6. Build a Boundary Playlist. Songs that remind you of who you are when you’re soft, centered, and not playing with your peace. Your soft life soundtrack might include: Hit play when guilt creeps in, when boundaries feel shaky, or when you need to realign with your softness. 7. Let someone else open the jar—literally and metaphorically. Listen, you can do it yourself. You always have.But softness whispers, “You don’t have to.” Let the person offer to help. Let your friend show up. Let your partner make the plan. And here’s the thing, even if it’s not perfect, let it be. Your Soft Era Deserves a Strategy. Choosing softness is bold. But sustaining it? That takes intention. If you’re tired of leading with exhaustion, holding everyone’s emotions, or feeling like peace has to wait until you finish everything else… it’s time to rewrite that script. Let’s map out your soft life—on your terms, with joy, boundaries, and clarity at the center. ✨ Book your complimentary clarity callYou don’t need to hustle for healing. You just need a plan that honors your softness.

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The Other Side of Betrayal

2 Comments / Wellness /

Burning Bridges, Feeling It All, and Choosing Me Anyway Last week, I didn’t blog.Not because I didn’t have something to say—But because I was living something that needed my full attention. The betrayal?It wasn’t messy.It was quiet. Calculated. Deep. The kind that cuts cleaner than any argument ever could.The kind that demands a decision:Stay silent and pretend… or stand up and protect your peace. I chose me. I said everything that needed to be said—Clear. Direct. Without apology.I didn’t just burn the bridge—I burned it to the ground.I watched it burn with fire in my chest and rage in my heart—because sometimes, that’s what self-respect requires. And when there was nothing left but ash—I walked away. Not untouched.Not unaffected.But still standing.Still proud.Still me. What I Learned While It Burned Yes, it hurt. Yes, there were tears.Grief wrapped itself around my heart some days tighter than others.But even through the ache, I never doubted the decision. Because grief and clarity can exist at the same time.You can mourn what you lost and still know you’re better for losing it. Every tear was cleansing.Every ache was proof of how much I had grown. And now?On the other side? I’m lighter.I’m prouder.I’m walking taller because I didn’t shrink to make anyone else comfortable. Burning that bridge wasn’t just necessary. It was sacred. Because I’ve Done the Inner Work, I Knew This Wasn’t About Me There was a time when betrayal would have sent me spiraling into self-blame.Second-guessing my kindness. Replaying every conversation. Wondering what I could have done differently. But not anymore. I’ve done the real work—the late nights, the therapy sessions, the hard journaling, the forgiveness (of myself first). And because of that, when betrayal came knocking, I didn’t open the door to shame. I recognized the betrayal for what it was:A reflection of their limitations—not mine. I saw who they moved on to, and instead of feeling jealous, I felt clear:I could never be her again.I could never unsee my own growth.I could never contort myself back into the version of me that once accepted less. No judgment, no bitterness—just gratitude for how far I’ve come. Let me be clear about something—I’m not sorry that I opened my heart.I’m not sorry that I trusted, that I believed, that I gave love room to grow. That wasn’t my failure.That was my courage on full display. Because loving fully, even in a world that doesn’t always honor it, is never wrong.It’s powerful.It’s beautiful.And it’s still who I am—betrayal or not. They may have mishandled my heart.But they never broke it. Because the parts of me that chose love?They are still intact.They are still strong.And they are still mine. The Truth About Letting Go: It Hurts, But It Heals Letting go stripped away every illusion I had left.It forced me to confront the parts of myself that still wanted to hope, still wanted to fix. And it showed me something deeper:I no longer needed to cling to anything—or anyone—to be whole. The pain was real.The heartbreak was sharp. But the pride I feel now?It’s heavier than the hurt ever was. And the peace on the other side?It’s the kind of peace you don’t borrow from anyone else.It’s the kind you build with your own two hands. đź’¬ I Almost Didn’t Share This I almost kept this story tucked away. Because it’s tempting to only share the highlight reel.It’s tempting to only show the healing, not the burning that came before it. But I’m not here to perform.I’m here to be real. I’m not telling this story for sympathy or applause.I’m telling it because protecting your peace will cost you comfort—and you need to know it’s still worth every inch of the journey. If you are standing in front of your own burning bridge right now—If you are wondering if you’re allowed to be heartbroken and still walk away—Let me tell you: You are. And you must. đź–¤ Here’s What I Know For Sure You weren’t made to fold yourself into spaces that can’t hold your light.You weren’t made to beg for respect or love.You weren’t made to stay small just because someone else’s vision of you was. Your time is sacred.Your peace is priceless.Your future is too beautiful to let insecure, undeserving hands leave their fingerprints on it. Burn the bridge if you must.Grieve if you must.Cry if you must. And then—Stand taller. Walk freer. Live louder. You deserve the kind of life you don’t have to shrink to survive. P.S.If you’ve ever burned the bridge, sat in the smoke, wiped your tears, and still chose yourself—drop a 🔥 in the comments.This is for us.The ones who didn’t just survive betrayal—we outgrew it.

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The Self-Love Reset: Hard—But Sooo Worth It

1 Comment / authenticity, mindset, self-sovereignty, Wellness /

Have you ever made a decision that’s for you—and immediately felt guilty about it? I know I’m not the only one. Maybe you finally said no to something that drained you, took yourself out to dinner instead of waiting for an invite, or enforced a boundary that should’ve been a given… and suddenly, you’re questioning yourself. Am I being selfish?Am I being difficult?Will they be mad at me? Choosing yourself sounds amazing and energizing in theory, but when you actually start doing it? Whew. It can feel strange, uncomfortable, even lonely. Like you’re going against the grain of who you’ve always been. But let me tell you something—just because it feels unfamiliar doesn’t mean it’s wrong. It means it’s new. And new is where the magic happens. If you’ve spent years saying yes when you wanted to say no, of course saying no is going to feel unnatural.If you’ve spent forever filling your schedule to avoid silence, of course sitting in stillness will feel uncomfortable.If you’ve spent your whole life making decisions based on what others want, of course choosing you will feel foreign. But discomfort is not a stop sign—it’s a sign you’re growing. And that’s exactly what the Self-Love Reset is all about. It’s not just a challenge—it’s a shake-up. A way to put yourself back at the top of your priority list and start making choices that serve you. It won’t always feel easy, and it won’t always feel natural, but every step is designed to help you shift into the next level of your life—one that’s centered on you, your joy, and your well-being. So let’s get into it: Seven days. Seven shifts. And a whole lot of self-love. Here’s what you can expect (and how to push through the parts that feel uncomfortable). What the Self-Love Reset Actually Feels Like (Not the Instagram Version) âś… Day 8: Taking Yourself Out Solo đź“Ť What it feels like: You walk into a restaurant, ask for a table for one, and immediately feel seen—but not in a good way. Your mind starts telling you that everyone is watching, wondering why you’re alone. You might feel tempted to stay glued to your phone, rush through your meal, or abandon the whole thing altogether. ✨ Why it’s worth it: The moment you stop overthinking and actually settle in? You realize—Wait, I actually enjoy my own company. You order what you want, take in your surroundings, and soak in the peace of being with yourself. The more you do it, the more you realize that you were never the problem—your fear of judgment was. đź’ˇ Pro Tip: Bring a journal or a book to ease any initial awkwardness, but challenge yourself to put your phone away and be fully present in the experience. âś… Day 9: Saying No Without an Explanation đź“Ť What it feels like: You type “no” and immediately your fingers itch to soften it: I’m so sorry, I can’t because… You think about how they’ll take it, how you might disappoint them, how you could maybe squeeze it in if you really tried. Saying no feels like breaking an unspoken agreement you never actually agreed to. ✨ Why it’s worth it: The first time you say no and don’t over-explain? It feels like freedom. The more you do it, the more you realize that people adjust. And the ones who don’t? They were benefiting from your lack of boundaries, not your presence. đź’ˇ Pro Tip: If you struggle with saying no, start with low-stakes situations (ex: declining an event invite). Once you get used to the feeling, work your way up to bigger things. âś… Day 10: Writing a Letter to Your Future Self đź“Ť What it feels like: Weirdly vulnerable. You sit there, pen in hand, and suddenly feel like you don’t know yourself at all. What do you even say? It feels silly, awkward, like something from a self-help book that isn’t meant for you. ✨ Why it’s worth it: You push through, and something shifts. You start imagining who you want to be. You put words to dreams you barely admit out loud. Months from now, when you read it back, you’ll see how far you’ve come—and that moment? It’s priceless. đź’ˇ Pro Tip: Seal the letter in an envelope and write “Do Not Open Until [Date].” Having a set time to revisit it makes the transformation even more powerful. âś… Day 11: Making Decisions Based on What You Want đź“Ť What it feels like: Guilt. So much guilt. You hesitate, second-guess, and wonder if you’re making a mistake by putting yourself first. The voices of other people’s expectations are loud, and choosing differently feels like rebellion. ✨ Why it’s worth it: Then you do it, and nothing bad happens. The world keeps spinning. And you realize how many of your choices were about pleasing others rather than honoring yourself. The first time you choose you, it feels weird. The second time? A little easier. The hundredth time? Non-negotiable. đź’ˇ Pro Tip: If you’re struggling, ask yourself: If no one else had an opinion, what would I choose? Your answer is your truth. âś… Day 12: Starting Your Day with Music That Makes You Feel Unstoppable đź“Ť What it feels like: Simple, right? But then you realize how much you’ve been letting other things—emails, social media, stress—set the tone for your day. ✨ Why it’s worth it: One small shift can change everything. When you start your day with music that lifts your energy, you move differently. You show up differently. And that energy carries into every single thing you do. đź’ˇ Pro Tip: Make a playlist called “Main Character Energy” and let it be your go-to for confidence boosts. âś… Day 13: Creating & Enforcing a New Boundary đź“Ť What it feels like: Heavy. You know someone’s not going to like it. You anticipate the pushback, the questions, the subtle guilt-tripping. You feel responsible for their reaction, even though logically, you know you

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The Cost of Speaking Your Truth

Wellness /

Welcome to 2025—the year we reclaim our power and stand unapologetically in our truth. Gone are the days of dimming our light to make others comfortable. This year, it’s all about embracing self-sovereignty and speaking our truth, even when it shakes the room. But let’s be real: speaking your truth isn’t always met with open arms. I remember sitting in a training where we were urged to “bring our whole selves to work” and “speak truth to power.” But when I did just that, I was met with frustration disguised as feedback. It was clear they wanted conformity, not authenticity. Let’s be clear: Speaking your truth is a vital part of self-sovereignty. It might not always be welcomed, but staying true to yourself means expressing your authentic perspective, even when it’s not the popular choice. So while other people are busy ditching their new year’s resolutions, we are standing ten toes down in our self sovereignty and that means dealing with the discomfort of speaking your truth. Let’s get into it. Truth vs. Opinion—Gather Your Receipts First Before we go any further, let’s make an important distinction: Truth is rooted in facts. Opinions are rooted in feelings. Speaking your truth is not about forcing your personal perspective onto others—it’s about standing on solid ground, with receipts to back it up. There’s a difference between saying: đźš« “I don’t like this decision.” (Opinion)âś… “This decision disproportionately affects certain groups, and here’s the data to prove it.” (Truth) The key? Speak with clarity, not just conviction. And for the love of all that is good and peaceful don’t confuse your opinion for fact. That’s how you end up giving people terrible feedback based solely on your opinion and your poor understanding of situations. Also, be mindful of offering unsolicited truth. Sometimes, the reason you weren’t asked is because people don’t want to know the truth. Not every space is ready for honesty, and not every conversation is an invitation to educate. Instead of pushing my perspective where it’s not wanted, I choose to ask clarifying questions—not to challenge, but to better understand. This keeps the conversation open rather than defensive and allows me to gauge if my truth is actually welcome or if my energy is better spent elsewhere. Because honey, if they like it who am I to waste my energy trying to convince them other wise. There are times when I intentionally choose my happiness over being right. Because the bottom line is that I am still going to be right whether I say it out loud or not. So, now that we have laid some ground rules, let’s talk about what to do when your truth is met with resistance; when your courage is repaid with pushback, silence, or even retaliation. How to Keep Speaking Your Truth—Without Losing Yourself 1. Come With Facts, Not Just Feelings If you’re going to challenge the status quo, do your homework. Feelings are valid, but facts are powerful. Check your sources, gather evidence, and anticipate counterarguments so that your truth stands firm. đź’ˇ Power Move: Before speaking, ask yourself:âś” Do I have evidence to back this up?âś” Am I sharing facts or just frustrations?âś” Is my delivery clear and compelling? 2. Expect Resistance—But Don’t Let It Stop You Not everyone is ready for the truth, and some folks will act like your honesty is a personal attack. Let me say this again for the people in the back. Not everyone can handle the truth; some folks act like your honesty is a personal attack. As Plato said, “No one is more hated than he who speaks the truth.” And I know this is hard to remember in the moment but that’s their issue, not yours. Their discomfort does not mean you’re wrong. đź’ˇ Power Move: When you receive pushback, pause and ask, “Are we discussing my delivery or my truth?” Redirect the focus back to the substance, not the style. 3. Keep It Clear, Not Cruel Truth-telling is about integrity, not aggression. Being direct is fine—being reckless isn’t. You can be direct without being hurtful. đź’ˇ Power Move: Before speaking, ask yourself, “Am I here to make a point or to make progress?” Let clarity, not frustration, choose your words. 4. Know When to Push and When to Pivot Some fights are worth having. Others? Not so much You don’t have to argue with people committed to misunderstanding you. Choose your battles wisely. đź’ˇ Power Move: Ask yourself, “Is this a real conversation or just a performance?” If it’s the latter, disengage and move on. 5. Find the Right Rooms If the spaces you’re in only welcome your truth when it’s convenient, you might be in the wrong rooms. Surround yourself with people who value authenticity, not compliance. đź’ˇ Power Move: Build relationships with like-minded truth-tellers. The right community will remind you that your voice matters. 6. Stay Rooted in Your Why At the end of the day, you don’t speak up for applause—you speak up because it’s who you are. Stay aligned with your values, even when it’s inconvenient. đź’ˇ Power Move: When doubt creeps in, remind yourself: “I’d rather be respected for my honesty than liked for my silence.” Your Truth Is a Superpower—Use It Wisely Speaking your truth can be isolating, believe me I know. When the push back comes, it can shake your confidence, and have you questioning your words, and even wondering if staying quiet would have been easier. But for me silence is never the solution when my integrity is on the line. Only you can decide for you. When in doubt try the following: So, be encouraged. Self-sovereignty is about standing in your power and making the choices that are right for you. When it is right for you, keep speaking up. Keep standing firm. And when they try to silence you, let the truth be your guide. 🔥 If you’ve ever been shut down for speaking up, drop a 🔥 in the comments. Your

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From Villain to Queen

1 Comment / authenticity, boundaries, self-sovereignty /

The Truth About Letting Go I was talking to someone recently, and they shared how they’ve been letting go of invisible labor and finally prioritizing their own self-care. But then they said something that made me clutch my pearls. “I guess I’m stepping into my villain era,” they said with a nervous laugh. Now, hold up. Villain era? Let me stop you right there. Choosing yourself isn’t villainous—it’s regal. Letting go of everyone else’s baggage, deciding you don’t need to solve problems you didn’t create, and putting your own well-being front and center? That’s not destruction; that’s elevation. It’s not your villain era. It’s your queen era. But let’s be honest: stepping into your queen era can feel a little…off. That’s because for so long, we’ve been taught to be the ride-or-die for everyone but ourselves. When you start saying no, when you stop making yourself available 24/7, it can feel like betrayal—like you’re doing something wrong, even when you know deep down it’s the right move. Why Letting Go Feels Villainous So, why does letting go of everyone’s everything feel like you just turned into the bad guy in a telenovela? Let me break it down: How to Deal with These Feelings So, how do you step into your queen era without being weighed down by all this villain energy? Let me help you out: From Villain to Queen Let me tell you something: stepping into your queen era isn’t about turning your back on everyone—it’s about finally turning toward yourself. It’s about realizing that your well-being is a priority, not an afterthought. Yes, some people are going to be in their feelings about your boundaries. Yes, you’ll have moments when the guilt tries to creep in. But here’s the thing: queens don’t explain their reign. They just reign. And remember this: the people who really love you will understand. They’ll adjust, and they’ll respect your need to take care of yourself. Anyone who doesn’t? Well, maybe they don’t deserve front-row seats in your kingdom. So no, you’re not a villain for letting go. You’re a queen for rising. Put on your crown, straighten your posture, and remember: your era isn’t about destruction—it’s about flourishing. It’s time to step into your queen era and reclaim your throne! If you’ve been carrying invisible labor, saying yes when you mean no, or feeling the weight of being everyone’s go-to, this is your sign to choose yourself. Start small—set a boundary, take a rest day, or say yes to your joy. Want to connect with a community of like-minded women who are stepping into their power? Join us for the Not My Red Wagon to Pull event! Not My Red Wagon to Pull: A Virtual Gathering for Women Ready to Reclaim Their Power In this transformative session, we’ll unpack the weight of invisible labor, explore the grief and growth of letting go, and celebrate the freedom of prioritizing YOU. This is more than an event—it’s a space for connection, healing, and stepping boldly into your queen era. ✨ When: January 20 at noon ET✨ Where: Virtual ✨ What You’ll Get: Practical tools, heartfelt conversations, and a supportive community to remind you that choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s revolutionary. Reserve your spot today and start your journey toward a lighter, more fulfilling life. Register here.

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Recovering from Burnout

Wellness /

Reclaim Your Energy After a Tough Week Last week felt like walking through a storm with no umbrella, no shoes, no raincoat, with wind whipping around you and Florida’s signature sideways rain falling as if it was getting extra credit to fall. In a nutshell, it was a dumpster fire of a week. And listen, it wasn’t just one thing. No, no, no. Life had to go full drama. It was a combination of heartbreak, tough decisions, and some serious physical exhaustion. I had to say goodbye to a friend I just made in this new city (which still doesn’t feel like home), deal with the emotional pain of laying off nine people (yes, NINE), and on top of that, I got hit with some kind of bug that left me too weak to keep anything down. The week wasn’t just tough—it was a full-on dumpster fire. By the time it was over, I didn’t feel like myself. I felt drained, like my energy tank was running on fumes. I mean if there were gold medals for dumpster fire weeks, last week would have been a contender. It wasn’t bad enough to be tragic, but it was stressful and uncomfortable at every turn. Every time I thought I’d found my footing, something else knocked me right back down. By Friday, I was spent—exhausted, frustrated, and completely over it. But here’s the thing: somehow, I made it through. And if you’ve ever had a week that slapped you around like this one did me, this one’s for you. Because even when life decides to throw everything at you, there’s a way to rebuild, recharge, and come back stronger—without losing your mind in the process. Here’s how you do it. 1. Give Yourself Permission to Rest! Look, I know we’re all conditioned to push through everything like superheroes, but after a week like this, I knew I had earned a break, not that I need to earn one. Rest is not optional—it’s mandatory. Your body and your mind are practically begging for it. And don’t you dare feel guilty about it! I chose to roll back the amount of activities I engaged in throughout the week. On Friday, I signed off early cause I was managing a migraine and took a nap. And on Saturday, I took some cognitive rest. I went to test drive a car that I was interested in purchasing, went out for lunch with Rodney, and spent some time upgrading this site, all of which made me happy. How does this apply to you? Glad you asked. Tip: When life is throwing punches your way prioritize your rest. One way is to schedule a “do-nothing” day. Yep, I said it. Plan a day where you don’t answer emails, selectively answer your phone, don’t tackle chores, and don’t even think about tomorrow’s to-do list. Your job is to rest, recharge, and indulge in whatever brings you peace—whether that’s binge-watching your favorite shows or sipping a chai latte in total silence. 2. Feel All the Feels Last week, even though I was feeling like trash both physically and emotionally, I had to show up for my team. So even though I was feeling a lot of emotions, I was trying really hard to not to show them. But even though I tried hard not to show them with my team, the truth is, it’s totally okay to feel all the emotions: frustration, sadness, anger, whatever shows up. Trying to act like it’s all good when it’s not will just keep you stuck. Honor what you’re feeling, even if it’s not cute. I waited until the end of the day to let all my feelings out, but I did let them out. My sister and Rodney heard a lot of it, and they were great about holding space for me. Tip: When life has you on an emotional roller coaster, take a moment to check in with yourself. If you’re a writer, grab a journal and spill it all. Or if writing feels too formal, hit record on your phone and just talk it out. Let those emotions have their say—because once they’re out, you’ll feel a little lighter and a lot more clear. 3. Reconnect with Your Happy Place When life feels like it’s taken everything out of you, it’s time to reconnect with what makes you you. Your happy place might be the beach (yep, that’s me), a good book, or even just sitting in total silence for five minutes. The point is, find what grounds you and lean into it. This week was kind of cold here and I was feeling like trash so even though I didn’t go to my happy place, I played a lot with my plants and made space for them in my office. I also may or may not have engaged in some retail therapy with accoutrements for my plants but that’s another story for another day. Tip: Take some time when you’re feeling off kilter to do something that brings you back to center. For me, it’s sitting by the ocean, chai latte in hand, just letting the sound of the waves calm my spirit. Maybe for you, it’s putting on that 90s R&B playlist and dancing in the living room, or calling your bestie for a vent session. Whatever it is, make time for it—it’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. 4. Focus on What You Can Control Not everything is under your control, and that’s okay. What is in your control is how you take care of yourself and how you respond moving forward. You don’t have to fix everything at once. Start small, and watch how those little wins start to rebuild your energy. There was not a whole lot that I could control last week, but I focused on what I could. I appealed to hiring managers I know to try to help the folks who were getting laid off get some leads, I worked on my

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Surviving Life Quakes: Rebuild and Thrive

3 Comments / mindset, transition, Wellness /

Life’s been throwing punches like it’s training for a championship match—injuries, hurricanes, and work chaos all at once. But amidst the jabs, there’s a silver lining: you can bounce back! Embrace the “life quake,” tackle small wins, and keep moving forward. Remember, even superheroes need a snack break sometimes!

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From Worry to Wonder

2 Comments / joy, mindset /

Simple Habits for an Abundance Mindset Have you ever felt stuck in that scarcity loop, where all you can think about is what you don’t have? You know what I am talking about. For me it hits after doom scrolling and wistfully and voyeuristically taking in what other people are doing on the interwebs. And you know that I know that they are only showing a snapshot but I still find myself wondering what I am doing wrong. You’re not alone. Our minds can be our biggest obstacle, constantly pointing out what’s missing instead of celebrating what we already have. But there’s another way to think that frees you from the prison of doom—the abundance mindset. It works. I tried it and it made all the difference. And lately life has been giving me many opportunities to practice. It’s all about appreciating the small things. The first sip of my ginger lemon tea in the morning, the feel of the sun on my skin as I water the plants, or being able to lounge in bed on Saturday mornings. Those simple joys make my whole day brighter. That’s the power of an abundance mindset. It’s more than positive thinking; it’s a lifestyle change that has transformed my entire world. Imagine moving through life knowing that there’s enough for everyone, including you. That’s what an abundance mindset is all about. It’s not just about money or material things—it’s about how you view the world and your place in it. When you adopt an abundance mindset, it changes the way you see opportunities, set goals, and handle challenges. Abundance vs. Scarcity: What’s the Difference? An abundance mindset says, “There’s always more where that came from,” while a scarcity mindset whispers, “There’s never enough.” People who embrace abundance see endless possibilities and know that success isn’t a pie where someone else’s slice makes theirs smaller. They celebrate others and believe that there’s room for everyone to win. But if you’re in that scarcity mindset? Whew, it can make you feel like you’re constantly in competition or that you’re going to run out of what you need. That kind of thinking leads to decisions made out of fear—whether it’s in relationships, your career, or even with yourself. Sometimes our scarcity mindset are leftovers from traumatic experiences, so don’t beat up on yourself. Decide what you can commit to changing and let’s make it happen. Why Cultivate an Abundance Mindset? When you embrace an abundance mindset, it doesn’t just change your thoughts—it transforms your life. Here are some of the benefits: Daily Habits to Build Your Abundance Mindset Of course you can’t just flip a switch to go from scarcity to abundance—it takes time and small, daily changes. But do not fret, I’ve got you covered. Here are some practical habits to get you started. 1. Gratitude Journaling Start your day by writing down three things you’re grateful for. It could be something as simple as the warmth of your morning sun or a kind word from a loved one. This habit is like training your brain to notice abundance, and over time, you’ll start to see more of it. As I have share before I am not a journaler but I know that it can be a really valuable tool. I prefer to wake up joyfully. I focus the first few moments of my day on things I am grateful for. I say my prayers when I wake up and say thank you for another wake up. I say good morning to Rodney and then I start humming a song that makes me happy. By the time it’s time to water the plants I start naming the things I am grateful for and if its sunny I spend a few minutes letting it warm my skin. That makes for a morning that sets me up for success and starts my day with joy. 2. Setting and Achieving Goals Goals are your road map to an abundant life. But don’t just set any goals—set ones that align with what really matters to you. So many of us are recovering people pleasers. It is important to take a moment to make sure that the goals we set are aligned to our purpose. When you have the aligned goals, break them down into smaller steps and tasks. Every time you complete one of the steps, celebrate because this creates momentum and reminds you that your goals are within reach. I am lucky to have Carol in my orbit who does the breaking down of the tasks for me because my brain is always thinking about multiple things at a time. If your brain is like mine there are all kinds of apps and software that can help you. The point of breaking it down is to make it achievable so that it goes from being a dream to being a goal. 3. Keep Learning Learning something new keeps your mind open and engaged with the world. Whether it’s reading a book, watching a documentary, or picking up a new hobby, continuous learning shows you that there’s always more to explore. Not to mention that it is good for your brain. Lately I have been learning a lot about gardening. I have killed some, but I have grown more than I killed. I am not trying to become a master gardener, I am just trying to learn more about nurturing and caring for plants that make my space more beautiful. I am also learning a ton about launching a new business, and building a brand. The joy for me is in the learning and I have noticed that keeping my focus on learning has changed the way that I approach challenges. I come in curious as opposed to judgmental and that is a huge shift for me. 4. Surround Yourself with Positive People We become like the people we spend time with, so make sure you’re around people who uplift and inspire you. Positive vibes are contagious,

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