advocacy

In the same way that silence can be a gift, lending your voice as an advocate for causes can also be a gift. Whether you are advocating for your self, advocating on behalf of another individual, or advocating for a systemic change, lending your voice can be a powerful gift. Just like there are times when it is inappropriate to share your thoughts on other people’s decisions, there are also times when it is dangerous to remain silent. I would never advocate for anyone holding their tongue when their boundaries are being crossed unless it is unsafe for them to speak up. My sister jokes that I stay ready, but what is more accurate is that I understand that if you don’t nip things in the bud when they are small, they can become unmanageable. So in most situations, I lend folks my voice so that they understand what I will accept and what I will not. And if I tell them more than twice and it doesn’t change, I gift them my silence. Life is entirely too short for me to have to repeat myself more than twice. Unless a person is incapable of understanding, more than two explanations should be enough in my opinion. Unless the person has a medical condition that renders them incapable of adjusting, I believe repetitive behavior is a choice. And I won’t tolerate choices that harm me. You have two chances to fix it, and then I adjust, because you either can’t or won’t. What I have come to understand is, sometimes speaking up for yourself can also result in change for others. I remember being in a psychology class in college and being thoroughly confused. I sat through the lecture a few times, and then one day in an act of pure frustration, I raised my hand and named my confusion. To my surprise a lot of other students echoed my confusion. Things changed for me that day, I stopped sitting around confused, if I didn’t understand I asked questions and most times others speak up after I do. Speaking up to protect your boundaries is a good way to contribute your voice. Advocating on behalf of others is also a good way to lend your voice. Again, be sure that your are safe when speaking up. But, there are times when giving the gift of your voice on behalf of others makes a huge difference. Here are a few times. Please speak up when folks are being racist, ableist, ageist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-semtist, sexist. As a matter of fact, please speak up against all the dangerous -isms, I can’t list them all. Please speak up when folks are being abusive in any way. Don’t be fooled that physical abuse is the only harmful way to abuse – emotional abuse and verbal abuse are equally harmful. Please speak up when someone is being intimidating or hurtful. You may not be thanked by anyone, but that doesn’t make it a poor choice. The above plea goes whether the subjects of another person’s harm are women, men, children, the elderly, the disabled, the abled. Please speak up when you have the privilege and the power; when you have a seat at the table. Your voice is invaluable to those who don’t have access. Please speak up when you hurt another person. Apologies accompanied by change speak volumes. I always tell my children I don’t want you to be sorry, I want you to be better. I don’t want to collect a bag or sorries, most people don’t, what people want is for you to be change for the better so that you stop causing hurt. We all have to decide when we want to give our energy to causes. Although many folks will try to dictate for you how and when you should speak up and speak out, that is a personal choice. No one owns the moral high ground. But please remember that every time we are silent or make the choice to look away from an issue, someone pays the cost.