New beginnings can be exciting when you choose them. But what about when the new beginning is a result of a health related condition? When your body either starts, or stops doing something? Whether gradual or sudden, having to adjust how your body functions, and how you function in your body, can be a rocky new beginning. Learning that you have a health condition can be stressful by itself, making the necessary adjustments to correct or manage the condition can add to that stress. Oddly enough, we as a society don’t talk about that stress. The general sentiment is that we should celebrate being alive to make the adjustment. But two things can be true at the same time. We can be grateful that we are alive to make the adjustment and feel the stress of it.
Adjusting to living with a health condition could mean changing what you eat, the frequency and intensity with which you do things, how you do or don’t use your body, adding medication, managing the side effects of medication, managing changes to your appearance and so much more. Some of these adjustments can be exhausting and downright scary. Yet there is not a lot of grace for folks who are starting those journeys. Health related life adjustments have become so normal that our empathy has decreased when folks have to make that pivot. It seems that we reserve our empathy for what we deem major illnesses, or for the elderly who have to make those adjustments. It’s as if there is a limited supply of empathy that must be reserved for special people or situations.
I know it doesn’t feel like a big deal, but have you ever tried to give up sugar? There is hidden sugar in almost all of our foods. And yes I know that there are more sugar free options, but it isn’t an easy to find foods that fit that requirement. Not to mention the irritability and headaches when you first start out.
How about taking a medication that caused rapid weight gain or caused your hair to fall out? Again, it’s not one of the things that is generally considered worthy of empathy, but imagine looking at yourself in the mirror and not recognizing yourself. And please let’s not do the thing where we pretend that our physical appearance doesn’t matter. When you become accustomed to seeing yourself a certain way, adjusting to a different version of yourself can be stressful. It doesn’t make you superficial, it makes you human.
I won’t belabor the point, I just want us to save some empathy for folks whose health forces them on a new journey. Newness in general is hard, newness that you’ve been forced into is even harder. When it is health related there is an added dimension of angst because in addition to the new start, there is an element of concern about one’s overall health and often a sense of loss. Whether loss of control, loss of the perception of yourself as a healthy person, or the loss of your ability to function as you did before. All of it makes the journey a challenge.
So, can we be kind to folks navigating this kind of new beginning? It someone else’s illness may not be what you consider a big deal, but it is a new start for them. What we know is all new starts include an adjustment period and some sort of uphill climb. The hill may be steep or relatively gradual but a climb is a climb. Please be nice.
